I hope so. Today was one of those days. Actually, just one of those last-few-hours. I've had a sore throat for about 6 days now. Finally, as my coworkers got more and more nervous of the onset of the plague, I took myself to the doctor. Not a "real" doctor, but a 24-hour magic clinic that you can just walk into anytime. However, when you walk in at 10:30 pm, you get what you pay for. (Meanwhile, about an hour prior, I was on my way to the clinic when the heel broke off my boot. Relevance noted later). A mean doctor came in, ignored my smiling face, and told me I don't have strep (I know), and that I probably just have a cold. I told him a sore throat is not my usual symptom (disgustingly, my Symptom is an extremely watery right eye, which I rub incessantly, so everyone thinks I have pink eye instead of a cold), to which he replied sarcastically that I couldn't possibly have had every symptom I'll ever have in my long 24 years. Treat me like a teenager, and I'll revert to one, so like any good tired and cranky snotty 15-year-old, I pouted. At first I was pissed when he asked me if I was sad he didn't give me any drugs. Then I remembered what time it was.
Last month Real Simple magazine did a comparison of the top internet dating sites. Sadly (for me, who had already hit "Send" on that 3-months-upfront commitment), eHarmnony was the most expensive, and had the least amount of members. Here's hoping - you get what you pay for.
Italian Stallion has dropped off the face of the earth again. Maybe he's back in anger management classes. Date with lawyer (code name needed) is tentatively on for Friday night (eek! actual date night! Dating is weird...). Sadly, my Perfect Outfit is already ruined by the broken boots. :( I've already scheduled plans for 8:30ish (which he knows) so that I can immediately go download my chaperon duo - Witness and JWoww. It also gives me a face save if he cancels so I'm not sitting home alone watching The Biggest Loser. Stay tuned!
xo,
$L#1
Wednesday, January 27, 2010
$ingle lady #2: Dating hotspots
What is the allure of Clyde's in Georgetown?? I mean, I love their pastrami sandwich but my second date in a row is taking me there (LB tonight). The bartender probably will think I am a hooker.
$ingle lady #2 does not want to think about being a widow
Maybe the weirdest answer I've gotten to the question "What do you think of the concept of soul mates?" came last night (after I got home from hanging out with my new favorite man Marshall - my kickboxing instructor). I've been asking all of my matches the same questions so that I can adequately compare them, apples to apples. I suppose with this one I am looking to weed out weirdos who think that there is one, and only one, magical person out there for everyone, because I'm not down with that idea. Anyway last night some guy (I can't keep up with their names any longer) chose to write in his own response rather than choosing one of eHz answers. It read:
"a person could have several soulmates but once one is found that is it unless they pass away than anothe might be found."
What??? Other than not knowing the appropriate use of 'then' vs. 'than,' this is a little weird, right? It rubbed me the wrong way and when I read it to Roomie J, she told me to immediately close this match (which I did). I'm sorry but bringing up death in your eHarmz cosmo quiz is just a little morbid.
Stayin' alive,
$L#2
"a person could have several soulmates but once one is found that is it unless they pass away than anothe might be found."
What??? Other than not knowing the appropriate use of 'then' vs. 'than,' this is a little weird, right? It rubbed me the wrong way and when I read it to Roomie J, she told me to immediately close this match (which I did). I'm sorry but bringing up death in your eHarmz cosmo quiz is just a little morbid.
Stayin' alive,
$L#2
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
$ingle lady #2 finds love
Take back anything bad I've ever said about eH. They've done it! My soul mate! I can hear wedding bells ringing!
For reference, my profile reads: The most important thing that $L#2 is looking for in a person is: Good grammar and self-confidence
Enter, Matt (this must be Matt #7 by now)...
The one thing Matt is most passionate about: Grammar --- SWOON!
The most important thing that Matt is looking for in a person is: self confidence
The most influential person in Matt's life has been: Ted Striker (if you only knew how sick I am of reading 'my grandfather bc he was in WWII,' 'my sister because she's always there for me,' and the ever-popular 'high-school basketball coach')
Maybe I'm getting a little ahead of myself, but I threw caution to the wind and went right to message communication with this one (Subject line: what is your opinion on serial commas?). I'm giddy with excitement to hear back!
For reference, my profile reads: The most important thing that $L#2 is looking for in a person is: Good grammar and self-confidence
Enter, Matt (this must be Matt #7 by now)...
The one thing Matt is most passionate about: Grammar --- SWOON!
The most important thing that Matt is looking for in a person is: self confidence
The most influential person in Matt's life has been: Ted Striker (if you only knew how sick I am of reading 'my grandfather bc he was in WWII,' 'my sister because she's always there for me,' and the ever-popular 'high-school basketball coach')
Maybe I'm getting a little ahead of myself, but I threw caution to the wind and went right to message communication with this one (Subject line: what is your opinion on serial commas?). I'm giddy with excitement to hear back!
Monday, January 25, 2010
$ingle Lady #1: The Tipping Point & why Southern boys are just so nice
The tipping point - almost every situation has one. The one moment when the tables turn, the switch flips, and there's a greater amount of sand in the bottom of the hourglass than the top. What's the tipping point on eHarmony when it stops being acceptable to "break up" with someone via an "Other" Closed Message, and starts requiring an explanation? While I like to avoid a messy breakup talk as much as the next gal (I prefer a light-hearted, let's-make-this-a-joke-and-end-up-friends "chat" instead), eHarmony is allllll about the communicating, so I presume there is some kind of known etiquette about this.
Leave it to the Southern gentleman to really come through. Dustin (of the Dustin-Alan duo) sent me an email two weeks ago. I replied after what I considered a reasonable amount of time (ok, barely two days) and then, nothing. I did drop the I'm Not So Sure About This Internet Dating Thing paragraph and thought maybe I'd scared him off. Trust me, being docile and cute and letting guys chase me is NOT my strong point. Disappointed, but understanding, I'd almost written him off, then today, he replied. He apologized for not responding, told me he'd started dating someone else and didn't think it was right to be seeing multiple women at once AND even added "(I'm old fashioned; on top of your phobia of meeting guys from online)." HOW CUTE!? I'm planning to cordially wish him the best of luck in his fledgling relationship and move on. In the reasonable amount of two days, of course.
A+ for Dustin.
xo,
$L#1
Leave it to the Southern gentleman to really come through. Dustin (of the Dustin-Alan duo) sent me an email two weeks ago. I replied after what I considered a reasonable amount of time (ok, barely two days) and then, nothing. I did drop the I'm Not So Sure About This Internet Dating Thing paragraph and thought maybe I'd scared him off. Trust me, being docile and cute and letting guys chase me is NOT my strong point. Disappointed, but understanding, I'd almost written him off, then today, he replied. He apologized for not responding, told me he'd started dating someone else and didn't think it was right to be seeing multiple women at once AND even added "(I'm old fashioned; on top of your phobia of meeting guys from online)." HOW CUTE!? I'm planning to cordially wish him the best of luck in his fledgling relationship and move on. In the reasonable amount of two days, of course.
A+ for Dustin.
xo,
$L#1
$ingle lady #2: Why I let your call go to voicemail and respond via text
I am thinking that I should update my eH profile with the following category: "Life skills that I do not possess." It would include:
1. talking on the phone
2. composing flowery emails and greeting cards
3. feigning or displaying actual excitement when opening gifts
Numbers 1 and 2 I am able to do when needed, i.e. for my job, but in life I'd prefer not to. In fact, in my office, there is a high ranking woman who is notorious for writing "rude" emails because she tends not to say please or thank you, and you will never ever find an exclamation point. She often makes people cry and has been warned about her etiquette, but since she is damn good at her job no one really cares. This woman is my hero and I am perhaps the only person at my company who truly enjoys working with her. I love her subject-line-only emails that get right to the point, and I know that if she says I've done a good job, she means it.
I think that my email style might conflict with my budding relationship with Andre, as he likes to compose 4-paragraph-long emails to me about his life, with closings like "Hope to hear from you soon!" etc. And I respond with rapid fire answers to his questions, a few for him to answer, and no signature at all. Sorry Andre, this is just how I roll.
I was reminded of number 3 on the list this weekend when giving my little sister her 16th birthday present; she opened it and promptly ooh'ed and aah'ed in an extremely high pitch. I have received several gifts that I loved from past boyfriends, but they were sure I hated it due to my lack of shrieking upon unwrapping. I just can't do it.
So, maybe it would help my matches to know all of this up front.
<3 SL#2
1. talking on the phone
2. composing flowery emails and greeting cards
3. feigning or displaying actual excitement when opening gifts
Numbers 1 and 2 I am able to do when needed, i.e. for my job, but in life I'd prefer not to. In fact, in my office, there is a high ranking woman who is notorious for writing "rude" emails because she tends not to say please or thank you, and you will never ever find an exclamation point. She often makes people cry and has been warned about her etiquette, but since she is damn good at her job no one really cares. This woman is my hero and I am perhaps the only person at my company who truly enjoys working with her. I love her subject-line-only emails that get right to the point, and I know that if she says I've done a good job, she means it.
I think that my email style might conflict with my budding relationship with Andre, as he likes to compose 4-paragraph-long emails to me about his life, with closings like "Hope to hear from you soon!" etc. And I respond with rapid fire answers to his questions, a few for him to answer, and no signature at all. Sorry Andre, this is just how I roll.
I was reminded of number 3 on the list this weekend when giving my little sister her 16th birthday present; she opened it and promptly ooh'ed and aah'ed in an extremely high pitch. I have received several gifts that I loved from past boyfriends, but they were sure I hated it due to my lack of shrieking upon unwrapping. I just can't do it.
So, maybe it would help my matches to know all of this up front.
<3 SL#2
Friday, January 22, 2010
$ingle Lady #1: The merits of bar dating
Contrary to the experiences of $L#dos, internet dating is a sober business. Most of my eHarmonizing is done at 10 pm curled up in my pjs while watching Grey’s Anatomy. Granted, most “dates” happen at bars, and particularly post-happy-hour-impromptu dates are likely to have an element of enzyme-processing-liver overdrive, but most of the get-to-know-you process is done without a drop. This leads to an interesting boredom conundrum. Everything is preprocessed, so no one has to be original.
Bar dating, and more specifically bar meeting, is much more exciting. Maybe it’s just me, but typically I end up with a fantastic story of meeting guys in bars. Disclaimer: I’m a bar prancer. I pretty much believe that it is everyone in the bar’s job to entertain me, willing or not. I will always, always, ask the bartender to teach me a new trick. I am exceptionally good at slicing a crisped dollar bill stacked with four quarters off the mouth of an empty beer bottle so that the quarters fall, still stacked, on top of it. Try it, it’s pretty hard. I will also always, always dance. In NYC, bars actually have to have a Permit to Dance to allow it, so I have thus been kicked out of bars before for such ghastly behavior. I also always, always make besties with the creepy old guys sitting in the corner. They’re regulars, and therefore are the kings of the bar and their power must be respected.
Case in point, for a bit of time when I was young and still enjoyed Thursday nights as a weekend, I used to frequent a certain Mexican bar in midtown which served $3 margaritas on Thursday nights. One night there at happy hour, I was demonstrating my strut (side bar: I strut. Not on purpose, it’s just how my hips go. It’s not a particularly sexy thing – I do it walking to the printer—it’s just a weird physical trait), and the bartender started mimicking me. We chatted a lot and my friends and I all got free drinks for the rest of the night. The following week, we were back, he was there; we chatted, drank for free, and after he got off work, ended up walking around the corner to grab a burger at like 2 am. Turns out he was 34 (I was…not), and made a wildly successful career taking jello shots off of girls’ belly buttons. We casually hung out for a few more weeks until he up and moved to Africa to become a documentary film maker.
Case in point two is a more relevant adventure. A month or so ago, I was actually leaving a bar (sadly, none the wiser with any new tricks), and was just getting in a cab when a tall and attractive man said, “Wait, come have a drink with me!” Completely befuddled, I looked around at who he could possibly be talking to, and he repeated the question. I must have looked appropriately wary for a $ingle girl alone on a street corner, because he then added “come on, there’s a great Italian wine bar right here, let’s just have one drink.” Eh, why not – only in New York does this story not end with me cut up in pieces in a gutter somewhere. Super excited about my bold move accepting such a last minute date offer, I order my glass of Pinot Grigio and wait for him to place his order. Alas, it wasn’t a real date invite, for he was actually the host of the restaurant, outside drumming up new business. After a quick high five for how well he managed to bamboozle me, I decided to stay, and in fact, order a full Italian meal by myself at the bar – think bread, dipping sauce, wine, pasta-- the whole nine yards. When I’m through, I pay and get up to leave, only to have him ask me to stay until he got off work so he could take me on a proper date. The phrase, "fool me once, shame on you…”starts formulating in my head and I politely decline, to which he replies by bringing me a rose. Feeling a little gutsy, I fling it back towards him and announce that a single rose isn’t good enough- I won’t even consider his proposal for less than a dozen. He complies, and we end up going to play chess at a bar around the corner until late into the night. This happened months ago you say, and isn’t relevant, liar. Yet strangely, we’re back in touch, and I will likely meet him for a drink within the week. He must have sniffed out that I’m looking to date…
xo,
$L#1
Bar dating, and more specifically bar meeting, is much more exciting. Maybe it’s just me, but typically I end up with a fantastic story of meeting guys in bars. Disclaimer: I’m a bar prancer. I pretty much believe that it is everyone in the bar’s job to entertain me, willing or not. I will always, always, ask the bartender to teach me a new trick. I am exceptionally good at slicing a crisped dollar bill stacked with four quarters off the mouth of an empty beer bottle so that the quarters fall, still stacked, on top of it. Try it, it’s pretty hard. I will also always, always dance. In NYC, bars actually have to have a Permit to Dance to allow it, so I have thus been kicked out of bars before for such ghastly behavior. I also always, always make besties with the creepy old guys sitting in the corner. They’re regulars, and therefore are the kings of the bar and their power must be respected.
Case in point, for a bit of time when I was young and still enjoyed Thursday nights as a weekend, I used to frequent a certain Mexican bar in midtown which served $3 margaritas on Thursday nights. One night there at happy hour, I was demonstrating my strut (side bar: I strut. Not on purpose, it’s just how my hips go. It’s not a particularly sexy thing – I do it walking to the printer—it’s just a weird physical trait), and the bartender started mimicking me. We chatted a lot and my friends and I all got free drinks for the rest of the night. The following week, we were back, he was there; we chatted, drank for free, and after he got off work, ended up walking around the corner to grab a burger at like 2 am. Turns out he was 34 (I was…not), and made a wildly successful career taking jello shots off of girls’ belly buttons. We casually hung out for a few more weeks until he up and moved to Africa to become a documentary film maker.
Case in point two is a more relevant adventure. A month or so ago, I was actually leaving a bar (sadly, none the wiser with any new tricks), and was just getting in a cab when a tall and attractive man said, “Wait, come have a drink with me!” Completely befuddled, I looked around at who he could possibly be talking to, and he repeated the question. I must have looked appropriately wary for a $ingle girl alone on a street corner, because he then added “come on, there’s a great Italian wine bar right here, let’s just have one drink.” Eh, why not – only in New York does this story not end with me cut up in pieces in a gutter somewhere. Super excited about my bold move accepting such a last minute date offer, I order my glass of Pinot Grigio and wait for him to place his order. Alas, it wasn’t a real date invite, for he was actually the host of the restaurant, outside drumming up new business. After a quick high five for how well he managed to bamboozle me, I decided to stay, and in fact, order a full Italian meal by myself at the bar – think bread, dipping sauce, wine, pasta-- the whole nine yards. When I’m through, I pay and get up to leave, only to have him ask me to stay until he got off work so he could take me on a proper date. The phrase, "fool me once, shame on you…”starts formulating in my head and I politely decline, to which he replies by bringing me a rose. Feeling a little gutsy, I fling it back towards him and announce that a single rose isn’t good enough- I won’t even consider his proposal for less than a dozen. He complies, and we end up going to play chess at a bar around the corner until late into the night. This happened months ago you say, and isn’t relevant, liar. Yet strangely, we’re back in touch, and I will likely meet him for a drink within the week. He must have sniffed out that I’m looking to date…
xo,
$L#1
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