Well, that was weird

So, even though my (now ex) IMF and I had a date tomorrow night, he texted me at 9 tonight with the ever-ominous "hey, can you give me a call when you get a chance?" At the encouragement of roomie, I called immediately to get it over with. I felt like something was off all week, but he confirmed my suspicions with the craziest and most-awkward phone convo ever, in which he said he "tried to give me a chance," cuz I'm a "great girl," but he "just wasn't feeling it." So I did the mature, big-girl thing of saying "That's OK, thanks for being honest, bye!" And quickly hung up the phone.

That was weird. But I've learned a lot! (1) Not everyone you date turns into a relationship. (2) When your gut tells you something's off, you're probably right. (3) It's important to keep an open mind and date different kinds of people that may not be "your type" at a first glance. (4) You can't take it personally, even though it feels very personal. Everyone's in this to meet someone, and not every match is The Match. Eharmony commercials are not real life. And online dating is decidedly NOT like prom dress shopping, after all.

But here's the good thing about eharm: I had some real-world, fun dates, and now there are six other people who are communicating with me, and 25 matches in my folder, and five more delivered each day. I've got about a month left, and I intend to make the most of it. As roomie CK says, "now you can do whatever you want this weekend!" and as $L2 says, "Boys are retarded." I agree.

Here's to David, physician, 29,
$L6

$L6 obviously plans a fatty date

So last night it was my turn to plan a date with my IMF: at my suggestions we went to get burgers at Big Buns and then blizzards at DQ (which, btw, is having an anniversary celebration: buy one blizzard, get the second for a quarter [thanks for the heads up, $L5!]).

We're getting more comfortable with each other, and it's really easy breezy---the way it should be in the beginning, I think. He makes me laugh and teases me in just the right ways to bug me but be adorable, and the way his smile lights up his face is starting to light up mine. (EWWWW gross!) At the end of the date he affirmed that my idea was great and he had tons of fun. Score one for meat patties and butterfinger blizzards! They shall never fail me.

In other news, I had a dream (nightmare) last night that I was meeting up in Paris for a date with edamame boy. I thought I was supposed to be meeting my IMF but then the other guy showed up and I cried. Wah.

That's all I got! Isn't my dating life so boring?

Keepin' it real,
$L6

$L6 cooks chicken and compares men to prom dresses

At the encouragement of my friends to strive for a healthy ROI from my eharmony experience, I decided to meet one of the other early eharmony contenders for drinks this week. In the back of my mind, I kept thinking that eharmony is like prom dress shopping ---- even when you find one you really like, you should continue trying on other dresses just to be sure. You'll likely buy the first one you tried on, but still.

I met the new guy at a bar in a mall, and immediately noticed some height fudging on his end---I'm short, was in flats, and we were about the same height. Also, he stuck his hand out, and I went in for the awkward hug, and it started things off feeling kind of weird.

We each ordered two drinks, and I quickly learned he doesn't like sports or watch too much TV. Um, he doesn't like sports. [Incidentally, I asked my other IMF last night what he thought of boys who don't like sportst. His response: "Gay."] I also learned that he likes Bud Light Wheat and enjoys ordering edamame in bars (which he did at 10:30 p.m.). All in all, I won't give away too many dirty details in order to protect the innocent, but it was just bland. I thought the date was over, but returned from the bathroom to see he was dining on beans, and then we lasted another hour or so before I politely declined his offer for a ride home and walked back from the mall. I got no follow up yesterday so I can imagine he felt the same way I did.

On paper, this should have worked, because he has a lot of qualities I usually look for. In reality it was as bland as unsalted pretzels and as fulfilling as a single cube of fat-free cheese. Halfway through, I texted my other IMF, so I think that's all the signs I need.

Meanwhile, last night was my 5th date with IMF, and I fittingly made my 5th date chicken. He raved, enjoyed, cleaned his plate, thanked me 50 times, and ate with exceptional table manners (swoon!). He also fawned over my cheesecake appropriately and brought me beer. Clearly, this is working.

Never order edamame at a bar,
$ "So I'm sitting at the $ingles table at this wedding on $aturday but I'm maybe not so $ingle?" L6

$L6 has 4 dates in 9 days

....with the same boy. Maybe eHarm got one right? My IMF and I are going to see the Phillies beat the Nationals tomorrow night here in DC, last night we watched the tourney together, last week was lots of drinking and food. He makes me laugh, has a fantastic smile, and likes to talk more than I do. Meanwhile, I've got 45 new and unviewed matches, haven't signed on in days, and I'm (gasp) even considering turning matching off.

Good dates make bad stories,

$L6

$L6: Marathon date

I had a lot of fun last night. Good conversation, good person, good connection, good repartee, great time. Even though I pulled some typically awkward $L6 moments, like...almost getting hit by a car, he seemed to have fun too, and I had an email waiting for me at 9 a.m. this morning.

Good job, eH. Good job.

Feeling $unny,
$L6

Also a hilarious video.

$L#6 has a date tomorrow

Yay! Let's just all focus on the title of that post, and thank our stars that my first date is getting in jussssst under the Easter deadline wire. I'll have the full $L recap on Wednesday, but for now I'm thinking about how I wish I had used whitestrips and that I wish I had a new wardrobe and that I wish it weren't supposed to rain tomorrow and that I'm really, REALLY nervous.

Wish me luck!
$L#6

$L #6's mom rewrites her eHarm profile

So I showed my Mom my eHarm profile, and she was not happy. In fact, Mama edited the crap out of it. The final product turned out to be way better, though, so I'm sharing her wisdom here.

The one thing Laura is most passionate about:

Old: Grammar and vocabulary, Philadelphia sports teams, summertime at the Jersey Shore, friends and family

Mom says: “You have grammar and vocabulary first?! Geez, that scares even me. Do NOT put that as your passion. Even if you are, some boy that doesn’t know his SAT words is going to be intimidated by you. Get that off there.”

New: Philadelphia sports teams, summertime at the Jersey Shore, cooking/grilling

Height

Old: 5′3”

Mom says: Really? You’re only 5′3”? Change that to 5′4” and go to yoga. We’ll stretch you. Wear heels.

New: 5′4”

The one thing Laura wishes MORE people would notice about her is:

Old: That I’m awesome at board games.

Mom says: Hmm, that makes it seem like you stay inside playing Trivial Pursuit at night. Make it more inclusive. More mysterious.

New: That you definitely want me on your team.

The things Laura can’t live without are:

Old:

• breakfast food, especially bacon
• gchat
• cheese
• my DVR
• dogs

Mom says: “Too many food items! Get that breakfast food off there. Everyone knows you like bacon, let him find that out on his own. Your DVR? No. Gchat? What the hell is gchat? Let’s be more specific, less fatty, and more interesting.”

New:

• Christmas
• iTunes
• golden retrievers
• the beach
• cheese

Some additional information Laura wanted you to know is:

Old: If you like the Giants or the Cowboys or the Yankees, we might not get along.

Mom says: “Too exclusive. What if a Giants fan has a nice smile and will buy you flowers?”

New: If you like the Giants or the Cowboys or the Yankees, we might not get along….but we can try.

_______________

So, what did I learn from my Mom? Keep it short and sweet. Some detail is good, too much detail is cumbersome. Be honest, but open-minded. Be yourself. Don’t try too hard. And also, Moms are usually right.

$L#6 - WTF is a Personal Blanket?

Occupation: Children's Fitness Instructor

Leisure time: Hanging out, playing video games and poker

Things XX can't live without:

• Personal Blanket
• sports
• gambling
• ipod
• friends

Discuss.

$ingle lady #6 - $pring has $prung

Hello readers,

Well $pring has $prung for this $L, and I am ready and roaring to get out there and go on a date. My Easter deadline is fast-approaching, and while I initially had thought it would be easy-peasy to go on six dates by then, that is not the reality. I firmly believe eHarmony should not be allowed to charge you for your first month of membership. It takes a long, long time to get the ball rolling on these things. It takes at least a week or more to even get to the e-mailing stage, and even longer to where you're comfortable meeting someone in real life. And to top it off, once I've boiled down the 70 or so matches, I ended up with about three I might be interested in. The first month is for whittling down and exploring, not dating, so I think it's unfair to charge me $40 for it.

I'm finally getting some communication going, one with funny Brian, one with nerdy med-student Jay, and another with the aloof and elusive Ben. (Side note: most popular name on eHarmony in DC = Ben. I've gotten about 7 Bens.)

I hope sometime next week to have a more exciting tale to regale you with,
$L6

$ingle lady #6: Why no photos, boys?

The communication block has finally been lifted: three people are now responding back and forth with me (finally) and I feel less like an online dating pariah. I'm even e-mailing with someone, and although he did not capitalize my name in his first correspondence, I'll let it slide because he is a lawyer and can probably take me somewhere nice-ish for dinner. (BTW, these lawyer-types seem to be very prevalent on eH, I think we're all communicating with some.)

My newest eH pet peeve is that some (lots of) boys don't provide photos. I noticed it a bit in the beginning, but now eHarmony is consistently sending matches without photographs (even though I'm pretty sure I told it not to). I don't so much understand whether this means they are so attractive they feel they want people to know them for the "right reasons," or whether they are so unattractive they fear no one would communicate with them if they have they provide photographic evidence. Either way, I'm 1000 times less likely to chat you with no pics, so this dumb behavior should stop. If you're going to pay the money, why wouldn't you at least play the game?

I'm also getting worried that my matches seem to be coming from farther and farther away. This weekend I got matches from places such as Lorton; Rockville, Silver Spring, Clark, and other far off lands. This is depressing as I'm only interested in meeting a metro-accessible boy toy, preferably on the orange line. Bummer.

I need at least 35 pictures of each boy before making dating decisions, and he should maybe also be my neighbor,
$L6

$ingle lady #6 - Communication Fail

I will die if I allow myself to continue wondering why all of my matches have stalled out in various stages of communication. It's been a couple days since I've "sent my must haves and can't stands" or answered some open-ended (and extremely boring, btw) questions from a match.

Why are all my matches stalling at this stage? Is it because my questions are too wonky, or because my answers were overeager? Was I too excited when I told them that although it's cliche, I just love to travel, and that I think "rollerblading on the beach" sounds impossible to do? Is it because I answered Hilarious Michael after I had had a few beers on Friday night and scared him off? (Don't worry, I was supervised.)

Either way, both the semi-decent looking matches and the weird ones I just figured I would humor are all giving me the silent treatment. My "communicating" page has eight people listed as "waiting for response." I'm getting sad. This springlike weather makes me want to go drink on a patio with some new handsome stranger, and it's just not happening.

I know I need to calm down. The other $ingle ladiez had to wait a while before getting a great match and even getting a solid date. I'm just impatient. I want to send sassy and witty e-mails with strangers to make myself feel loved. Wah.

Somebody talk to me, please!,
$L6

P.S. I too got paired $L2's friends' roommate.
P.P.S. I too was once romantically involved with him.
P.P.P.S. YIKES!

$L#6 hates traffic and blizzards and girlfriends

OK, I'll admit it. I was maybe sorta a little bit trying to trick karma by signing up for the dating Web site thingie.

My life follows a few rules:

1. If I buy something, it will immediately go on sale. [Also in this category: If I change lanes on the highway, the other will go faster; If I go one way to avoid traffic, the other route will spontaneously burst into flames or something; If I set my alarm really early to get up and be productive, I'll forget to turn it on.]
2. If I plan a trip somewhere fun, it will blizzard in departure location and get canceled. [Or, If I go to Miami, it will rain and be cloudy for the only five days of the year it is ever rainy and cloudy there.]
3. If I like you, you have a girlfriend.
4. If you like me, you have a girlfriend.
5. If I get invited to do something fun, there is a 100% chance that I will also get invited to do something else fun on that same day. And I won't be able to go. And I also won't have anything else on my calendar, at all, for the preceding and subsequent six months.

I was hoping to add my namesake's number 6 to this list: If I sign up for online dating, I will meet the man of my dreams in a bar and therefore have wasted my hard-earned money.

Well, no such luck in this first weekend; I succeeded only in again falling in love with someone who has a girlfriend. Shocker!

My eHarmz updates: I went on a closing spree and closed all the matches I knew I wouldn't be interested in and was too lazy to continue pleasantries with. Someone closed me and I was offended even though he had some dealbreakers in his profile because like, wtf? I am playing question game with a few people but still think eHarmony is holding out on some sweet matches for me that it is saving for a rainy day. I am being actively ignored by people that $L2 has already dated and I'm getting impatient.

Ever the optimist, there's still plenty of time,
$L6

$L6 closes a match, feels guilty, questions her dealbreakers

OK, this is all very new and exciting, but I just closed the first match I got from someone requesting communication with me without even answering questions. Is this going to give me bad online dating karma in the future? I hope not, but I just happen to know already that if you drink alcohol only a few times a year and are self-admittedly a picky eater (enough so to put this on your dating profile), we probably won't match. Also he lived more than 15 miles away which is too far for me to do a walk of shame from in the morning. I would have to hitchhike or ride on the back of his motorcycle. No thanks!

Dear eHarmony, that wasn't your best match. Try harder.

I apparently need an alcoholic, adventurous eater who lives two blocks away,
$L6

$L6 competes with $L2 for the five eligible men in DC on eHarm

Hello, readers. I'd like to start by apologizing immediately for adding yet another number to this mix of fantabulous $ingle ladiez. I can barely keep them straight as a loyal reader so I imagine this might make things tough. Fittingly, my favorite number is 6, my birthday is 6/6, and my goal will be to go on 6 dates before my 3 months and $120 have run out. [I made a Lenten promise to Jesus to go on a date by Easter, so that was the impetus of my spur-of-the-moment decision.]

I have my own blog, which I'll shamelessly plug often (www.lifeneedsedits.com). However, my parents read that blog, and the other day I made a reference to getting a boy in your pants with this delicious chicken recipe and my mom said "Please take that down, honey." You see why I need another forum to let my honesty shine through, right?

Some things you should know about me:

1. I joined eH yesterday and already have been matched with the same doods as $L2. I can't wait to compare notes.
2. It's really hard for me to remember to turn S's into dollar signs. I'm an editor, so secretly this causes a genuine feeling of unease in my soul.
3. I've never been on a real date in my life. The thought of meeting a stranger in a bar makes my insides turn inside out and makes me want to swallow a bottle of Pepto Bi$mol.
4. I use my boobs and knowledge of sports as leverage.
5. In 2010 I've been working on doing things that are generally more awesome, wild, and ridiculous than the things I did in 2009. Online dating definitely fits that resolution.

I think that's enough for now. I have 14 matches and no one is yet requesting communication with me after 24 hours. For those of you who suggest I do the first step, I'd just like to say that although I'm currently on a dating site I would still prefer if the boy pursues me (I recognize the ridiculousness of that statement). I'll wait until Sunday and then do one of these weird "ice breaker" thingies.

My foray into online dating has but one goal: To get me on a real date. I would hate to turn 25 this June without ever going on a first date or having a sweet horrible bad dating story to tell my grandchildren when I regale them with the fairy tale that will be "How I Met Your Poppy." No one will ever find me and love me if I'm laying in bed eating Cheez-Itz on a Saturday night, so here we go.

Cheer$,
$L6