$ingle Lady #1: Its a $mall world afterall...

Ahh Valentine's Day. The day of love, roses, chocolates, and romance. Naturally, its the worst enemy of a $ingle Lady, given her current status, and matchmaking sites like eHarmz prey on us while we're weak. Don't worry ladiez, I too was had by the promise of eternal love without even leaving my living room.

This Free Communication Weekend spawned a few new $ingle Ladies, both those who choose to share the experience with you here and those secret private people who want to give it a test run on their own.

Friend S (another nyc-ian) is one such person, who joined eHarmz and put in her profile that this was expiration dating so por favor no dilly dallying with those Must Haves. She called yesterday to say she had a date! Excitement turned to serious jealousy that it took me 10 weeks to even secure a real date and then couldn't even keep it. Then she said his name. Wesley. Sound familiar? It should, for he was also one of my early promised eternal loves. Ever the eager beaver (still) he had fast tracked her so quickly her head was spinning.

She didn't go. Not a match made in heaven, and now alas, Free Comm Weekend has come to a close. Coming soon: for more on the story, check out http://guidetobeingawesome.wordpress.com/

Update: in a moment of boldness I don't usually experience with men, I emailed Chris yesterday. Fear not, it wasn't a sobbing, whiny wwwhhhhyyyy??? (though seriously tempting)... He replied shortly after that he never got my confirmation email so he didn't think we were on for yesterday. Suspicious, but he has no reason to lie to me so I suppose I'll take up his offer for an early next week date.

xo,
$L#1

$ingle lady #2 wants to snack on Crispix

Crispin's answers to my questions require NO EXPLANATION. He is the winner:

What is your favorite Christmas movie and why?I'm very tempted to say Bad Santa, but I really don't think that counts as a Christmas movie. I do, however, have a soft spot for Home Alone, and an even softer spot for TBS who finds it in their hearts to miraculously play it every 3 weeks. I love it because: 1) I thought it was absolutely hysterical at the ripe age of 8 (or whenver it was released) and continue to use the line "Buzz your girlfriend... Woof" at every chance I can get 2) It trained me in case of the unlikely event that my house was besieged when I, too, was home alone 3) I am obsessed with my family (I love them to death) and think it's your typical feel-good story. You know, kid doesn't know just how good he's got it until it's almost too late? If my family vanished, I'd freak out
Tell me about a word that you have invented or changed the meaning of. Define and use in a sentence.I've tried to coin the phrase "Tater-totally" for months now (pr. tay-ter-tah-tuh-lee). It's a combination of tater tots and totally, and for some reason I thought it was completely genius. Nobody else does, though, and I've had a really tough time spreading the good word. Or bad word in this case. Ex. in sentence: "You're going to the mall today? Gosh, I'd tater-TOTally love to go with you!" My more successful words that I've created include Rapterrific (Raptor, Terrific), T-Rexcellent (I trust you can guess that one), Spandexcellent, and many more. I'm a bit of a wordsmith.
$wEEt DrEaMz!$L#2

$ingle lady #2 on $erial daters

Ah Valentine's Day engagements. I won't hate on them, because I'm pretty sure every girl says she doesn't want to get engaged on Valentine's Day/Christmas/birthday/Arbor Day until it happens to her and then it was OMG SOO perfect!! A girl with whom the $ingle ladies went to college got engaged yesterday, and I'm pretty sure she's had no less than 7 boyfriends she was definitely going to marry. What's the deal with these girls, and how do they always hook a new one so fast? The concept of serial dating doesn't baffle me (it makes sense that you're used to spending lots of time with someone), but the concept of finding one man after another who wants to be in a super-serious relationship, does.

Also, to my dismay, posting my address on my eH profile did not result in any bouquets of roses coming my way. I promptly took it down anyway because I thought it might give any post-V-day suitors the wrong idea. I have a new match named CRISPIN. I was so ready to make fun of him and close him, but he seems kinda great. He's 6'4" with blue eyes and admits in his profile that he'd like to become a billionaire by combining his love of sports, politics and religion. I'm down with that. We're progressing quickly through guided comm. so we'll see what happens. I've already developed a slew of nicknames for when we're in love, including Crispin Cremes.

$ingle Lady #1...is being stood up?

How do $ingle Ladies celebrate Valentine's Day? One word - Sangria. Or three words, and add Burgers. MacNCheese.

Flashback to last week. I was in sunny Mexico with my parents and grandparents, enjoying the sun and being the darling of the trainers in the gym (yes, I took my cute workout clothes, and yes, I actually used them!) and the waiters by the pool. My mom, ever sensitive, told me I should go to one of those dolphin adventures where you sit in a tank while they swim around you and at the end, they take a photo of the dolphin "kissing" you and sell it to you for a ridiculous price. Her reason - because it would be the only mammal I'd kiss all week. Thanks Mom. 75% of the people at the resort were pushing 80. The other 25% were 30-something parents and their small children. Our last day a cutie in the range of 17 boldly smiled and said hello as I walked to lunch with my parents. My mom said he ran into a hedge when I smirked and waved back. In his defense, I had big sunglasses on so he couldn't see my crows feet.

Emboldened by my week of relaxation, I emailed Chris, lawyer to try to finally set up a date. He replied almost immediately and we set up lunch for today. He asked me what neighborhood was convenient, and on Friday, I replied anywhere midtown or south so I could head to the office afterwards. My assumption was that he would respond, probably yesterday, with a location and time. Nothing. Nada. Zilch. It's 11:10 and come on, I like spontaneity but truthfully I haven't even showered yet and he should know that it takes at least 30 minutes to get anywhere in Manhattan.

Now I'm That Girl, who's sitting on her computer watching Private Practice hitting refresh on my email (the modern day "sitting by the phone" waiting for him to call), hoping to get that elusive eHarmony email "You've received communication from..."

<3,
$ingle Lady #1

$ingle Lady #5 - Getting Lazy

I am overwelmed with eH. There are less than 24 hours left in free communication weekend and I haven't found the man of my dreams. Here are some highlights from my search:

Tom 26 from Chicago- He is a CPA and is inspired by the 80's flick Teen Wolf. I'm in love. We've been communicating via eHarmz' questionnaires but neither of us have taken it to the next step.

Tom 35 from Niles- I closed this match due to our age difference; eharmz asks why you are closing this match... I usually choose "other" but this time I chose the age diff. This morning I received a message from Tom saying, "age isn't anthing but a number. good luck with your search." Shoot, I'm being too picky.

Michael 30 from Chicago- He is an attorney. Loves his dog- only lady in his life. He enjoys running. This one could have potential. He sounds ambitious and financially sound. I can deal with his love for dogs. I LOVE when people LOVE their dogs. and I enjoy running too...I sent my responses to his questions and have yet to hear his responses to mine. Fingers crossed.

In other news outside of the eHarmz realm, one of the (cute) external auditors I work with popped in my office, asked standard work question then asked about my weekend. I was hoping he would just end all of this, ask me to lunch, and I could avoid the whole eHarmony biz. But sigh, he was just killing time before his monday morning meeting with my boss. The whole time he spoke I couldn't help but wonder if he was on eH and noticed I was on it since my name isn't pretty traditional. I'm probably being paranoid.

So since work blocks eH, I can't keep up correspondence with my suitors. I'll have to do some mad eH'ing when I get home. In the meantime, I'll be deciding whether or not I will pay the money and add faces to names.

Hoping these boyz aren't WOOF,
SL5

$ingle lady #4 - No one said this was going to be easy

I have come to realize the harsh realities of participating in this free communication weekend for eH.

1. THIS IS REALLY HARD. there is always an influx of emails from "userservices" in my gmail inbox saying that Joe, Andrew, Matthew (the list goes on) is a new match for you! or communication received!

2. there is alot of pressure to keep up with all my new matches/communications since I have until tomorrow to decide if i want to pay to join. as the other $ingle ladies have mentioned, it is almost like a full time job. and especially since there is a deadline now.

I've also learned something about myself through this. I'm typically a person that doesn't really put myself out there trying to pick up guys. If it happens or if they make the first move then I'm usually good with that. But I don't engage in such behavior as trying to have my friends pawn me off on complete strangers at a bar (this happened last evening at the bar to my friend). But this whole process is only going to work if I do put myself out there. I'm keeping an open mind (in most cases) and answering questions and responding. I even got brave enough today to send my list of questions to 2 matches. I also received my first icebreaker yesterday? I mean I can't really be judgmental when I'm reading about these people on paper. I'm not saying I'm going to settle, but I also really can't be picky at this point either.

I also realized that my profile was very vague and probably disinteresting to my matches. I mean, I did have only a 37% completion rate on my profile. I logged some eH time this morning, as it is Valentine's Day. And nothing says a fulfilling V-day like internet dating and communication.

I have closed some of my matches due to age (33 is just too up there for me). I really enjoy the list of excuses I can use, and I've been honest with the 33 year olds, your age really IS an issue.

I got my first shut down yesterday, I have been closed by Joshua because is "pursuing another relationship." I mean, I didn't even view his profile? And my profile isn't anything offensive nor was I trying to pursue him. Whatev, hope that works out for you.

I got my first real gem of a match yesterday, Anthony. First strike, he lived too far into the reaches of the Boston suburbs for my taste. Second strike, occupation? truck driver. Third strike, age? 33. AND the kicker, already has 2 kids. GOODBYE. (Also, he only drinks a few times a year, which may interfere with my weekend nights out or mid-week drinking urges due to tax season).

Another pet peeve I have realized about some of my matches is that they purposely withhold information so you absolutely HAVE to communicate with them. "if you want to know more about me just ask!! :) :)" I should not feel like I have to be cajoled into communicating with you just to find out later that you are creepy and just didnt have the balls to post it to eHarm.

To conclude, your last (and most influential and life changing) book should never be "The Abs Diet."

I've progressed to sending my must haves/dislikes to several of the matches, so we will see what will come of those.

Best Valentine's Day card, ever

$ingle lady #2's friends know her too well...check out this V-Day card that is off the meat rack:

Love is in the air!

$L#2