$L#5 went on a secret eHarm date, plus a new blog

Hola old friends - if anyone still reads you will be interested to know that (1) $ingle lady #5 went on an eH date without telling you and (2) I, $L2 decided that I can't live without blogging. But I also don't want to internet date any more so feel free to visit me at http://sorryforwinning.blogspot.com. Still undergoing cosmetic improvements...

$ingle Lady #4 - All things must come to an end...

No, I am not quitting the blog.

The eHarmz membership expired this past week and I was fairly happy about it. Taking the wise advice from $L 2's cancellation experience, I made sure to do it the day before it expired (per my outlook calendar reminder, again thank you for the advice $L 1). I was messaging with John, 26, Lawyer, however the conversating was not stimulating enough and we had exchanged one message back and forth. Not urgent enough to throw a desperate, "my membership is expiring, here is my email address, etc., please contact me." I'm happy that I no longer feel like I have to tend to my matches and maintain communication. Too much effort for lackluster matches.

So alas, I made it out of the 3 months with 1 date under my belt. Not the outcome I was hoping for, but what this has come to show us all is that the Boston internet dating pool is limited. So I shall return to my weekend activities of day drinking and attending fun events and playing organized sports that I have not dared to play in years and years. But I am hoping by getting myself involved in these fun summer plans to hopefully meet someone! You never know.

I did meet a very nice Canadian boy this weekend, which only further confirmed my love for the country to our north. I have spent substantial time in Canada over the last year for work and I have come to conclude that it is a fantastic country. The food is better there, the beers are bigger, they have fashionable eyeglasses, and apparently the guys are much nicer too. I somehow found myself hanging out with a 30 man Aussie rules football team on Saturday night and we were clearly outnumbered with the 8 girls I was with. I got to talking to Zack who was very cute and we had excellent conversation, not the boring kind or the kind that is just sweet talking you to try to get you to take him home. It haven't had a meaningful conversation like that with an American male in a very long time. He seemed very genuine and it gives me (slight) hope that not every boy is going to break your heart or disappoint you. But alas, he lives in Canada so my dream match with Zach is not feasible. Aren't they always.

I promise to continue my blogging about my other summer adventures, as I was never off the market.

xox,

$L4

$ingle Lady #1 - Meatloaf: Not a replacement for 5th date chicken, but so, so much more...

I've spent a predominantly lazy, largely unsupervised Friday afternoon perusing my newly instated matches. In an effort to entice me to fork over another $120, eHarmz has been continuing to send me my perfect doods since I retired, leaving me with quite a bunch to sift through. Bring on the man of my dreams!

My selective amnesia of my first beginning encounter with eHarmony was jolted back into reality when I realized most of them are still woof, and short woofs at that. However I stumbled across P, 29, another lawyer (for crying out loud) who may be an even bigger soulmate than Original Lawyerboy, despite his penchant for the JFK Air Train (swoon!). I knew right off the bat we'll be in virtual love when his "most important thing he's looking for" is someone who "knows the girl's part to the song I Would Do Anything for Love, by Meatloaf." Honeybun, I've had that down pat since 11th grade. I smell a karaoke-themed date in our future... Reason number two for my immediate internet crush: P is thankful that the Jersey Shore crew is headed for Miami. Heart. Reason number three is a no brainer, he's Canadian. Admitedly a downside on the surface, but dig deeper and you realize Canadians are awesome at beer and hockey (plus and plus), and decidedly not awesome at American Football, so he won't interfere with my Sunday addiction.

I stifled the urge to immediately Fast Track since I have no idea how seasoned of a internet lova he is.

Meanwhile, I'm internet whorishly doling out my Cosmoquiz questions to anyone with a pulse in a new form of summer dating strategy of Ma$$ Quantity.

'til 5 o'clock xo,
$L#1

$ingle Lady #1 - Reconvinced?

Get excited lonely readerz, eHarmony has made me an offer I can't refuse.

Mz F sent my mom who sent me a special code for a discounted membership for $ingle moms... Given that I'm already wanted by the Feds for failing to sign my taxes, I didn't want to push my luck lying to eHarmz about babies and such, but today I received one of my very own. Rejoin for the low low price of $14.95/mo for 3 months. Whoa there WalMart, there are some new rollbacks in town.

I'm pretty sure that's a go. It's the summer, and I need a fun summer fling. Or 12. eHarmz has steadily been sending me matches despite my membership cancellation and the poor blokes have been poking and prodding trying to get me to respond (sorry fellas, I've been burned by the "no photo until you pay us" rule before...).

Cheers to spending the weekend weeding through 138 new matches...about 30 of which have sent me a communication.

xo
$L#1

$ingle Lady #1: Back on the Market

Following in $L#6's footsteps, IMF and I decided to separate last week. Details of the breakup are locked in $ealed record$, but we're releasing a joint statement through our reps that the split was amicable, but that we will not remain friends. Circumstances are external...involving a cross-country move, which is too bad since I really do think we liked each other.

Back in the game, loyal readers, just in time for the fun and flirty $ummer months! Unfortunately, eHarmz subscription ran out during my dating pha$e, so I'll have to turn to more traditional forms of lurking for men.

With my quarter-century looming in about a month, bring on savethedating?

xo,
$L#1

$ingle Lady $nooze

I took a page from the $ingle lady #2 and employed the fun and sassy question of "tell me about a word or phrase that you have made up and tell me the meaning of it."

Kyle had some potential and I have been engaging in the slow process of moving through the stages of communication, as I am trying to make the most of the last few weeks of this mostly disappointing membership. Also trying to up my ROI. Tonight I checked in on my account was excited to read the responses to my, what I thought, very important questions.

However, I was NOT impressed, bored, and frankly angry with Kyle's responses. It seemed like he was irritated that I was even inquiring. I mean answering endless rounds of questions can get annoying on eHarmz, don't get me wrong. But you are PAYING MONEY for this membership. Put some effort into it or else you won't get anything out of it.

I may be reading into things too much, but see below at Kyle's $nooze-worthy answers to my questions:

Tell me about a phrase/saying/word that you have made up and tell me the meaning of it. I really do not have any phrase or saying that I have made up. I don't think that I even have a phrase I am overly fond of using. Sorry about this one, but I just do not have an answer.

Looking back on your life, of what are you most proud? Probably getting my master's degree. I did not understand when I started it how much work I would put into it.

Why did you join eHarmony? Basically, to meet more people than I was in my daily life.

He is a ROBOT. I think I will wait the obligatory 2 days to close this one. ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ.

xox,
$L4

$ingle Lady #6: Checking in

I have a date on Monday with C, 25, paralegal. So far he's been incredibly inquisitive and nice, and I look forward to meeting him. I feel like such a pro, I'm barely even nervous anymore. I gots nothin' to lose! I am still waiting for S, 25, engineer to finally ask me out, but we've so far just been exchanging novel-like e-mails with lots of personal get-to-know you info. It's time for him to ask me out before my gmail server maxes out.

Here's hoping I follow through on my promise to kick my date's butt at $kee ball,
$L6

$ingle Lady #4 and the Art of the Text Message

I've come to the realization recently how much effort goes into a text message. You only get 160 characters to express what you are or are not trying to say. You want to make the message concise, not too lengthy, keeping the TMI to a minimum, but also keeping mysterious just enough to ensure a reciprocal text.

Case in point, my friend C (who reads this blog, hi!) whom I made a love connection for some time ago now. Well her and her male friend have continued to stay in touch, however they engage in the ever-so-fun Friday/Saturday night text message routine of "are you going out tonight?" Which everyone knows is code for "what bar are you going to be at so I can conveniently be there when the bar closes in the hopes we may go home together."

Don't get me wrong, it would be nice to have a consistent male companion in my life right now. However, I have learned first hand that this text game is EXHAUSTING. Since the said male companion, we will call him Bill, was a friend of mine from college, she will consult with me on the protocol on the Friday/Saturday night text. Should I send him a text? Should I go out to the bar he is at? What should I say next?

Here is the guide to texting (to lead to potential sexting) according to $L#4:

Rule 1 - As girls, we cannot seem TOO eager to jump in the next cab you hail from the street and show up at the bar he is at. As such, appear aloof in your text message and undecided about plans. That way this keeps him guessing as to if you are going to show up and secure the cab ride/walk home bar close routine.

Rule 2 - We are allowed to initiate the weekend text first, however if the girl consistently initiates the text, then there is something else going on. The male then becomes dependent and just assumes that he can get in your pants whenever he decides to send that SMS your way. Take turns on the initiating and if he continues to initiate after you do, then you've really got yourself a potential male friend in the works.

Rule 3 - Drunk texting happens. Let's just be serious with this one.

Rule 4 - Be spontaneous and invite him to the bar YOU are going to. If he shows up with friends, he gets some points. If he shows up alone, MAJOR points. Unless he has ulterior motives and is on a one-man mission for a booty call. and finally....

Rule 5 - DON'T OVERTHINK. No matter how many times your friends proofread your text for the right 'connotations,' chances are the guy will not read into it too much. He will probably just read it and be like "yes! she is coming to the bar to meet up" or he will read your aloof text and become even more intrigued to know where you are hanging out that night.

$ingle lady #2: repeat offender?

One of my recent matches Bruce says "I am passionate about doing everything I can to help my girlfriend (if I have one of course) or make her feel loved and special" (Before you think he's way too lame, he did list some actual goals before this statement).

I'm sure this was just thrown in there to show that he's a super-attentive boyfriend, etc. etc. But this type of attitude perplexes me. It does not make me feel special, or that he would treat me like I am special. It makes me feel like he treats every girl the same, no matter who she is. It's a nice senitment but I still like to think that you make someone feel loved because you love that individual person, so your actions come naturally. Saying that, once you fill in the girlfriend blank with your new eH match, you will do everything you can to make her feel loved, is weird to me. Don't you have to decide if you love her first??

But, thinking about my own actions, I realize that I too, use all the same moves with every guy I like (maybe even my own D.E.N.N.I.S system?). First they will see I like golf! And guns! And trucks! Then, look, I like to cook and be girly and wear makeup and heels too! And I am a Republican who will do your dishes! And so it goes as I create my 'perfect woman' image. But, clearly, my moves aren't working. They might for a while, but not in terms of any long-term effect. So am I supposed to change up my system? Or would that mean changing who I am? That's scary because frankly, I don't have any other moves. I don't like kids or saving the whales or bunnies or Priuses.

So, you go Bruce. Work your B.R.U.C.E. system. Shower your new girlfriend with love and affection and make her feel special. Even if it's the same love with which you showered your last three girlfriends.

Well, that was weird

So, even though my (now ex) IMF and I had a date tomorrow night, he texted me at 9 tonight with the ever-ominous "hey, can you give me a call when you get a chance?" At the encouragement of roomie, I called immediately to get it over with. I felt like something was off all week, but he confirmed my suspicions with the craziest and most-awkward phone convo ever, in which he said he "tried to give me a chance," cuz I'm a "great girl," but he "just wasn't feeling it." So I did the mature, big-girl thing of saying "That's OK, thanks for being honest, bye!" And quickly hung up the phone.

That was weird. But I've learned a lot! (1) Not everyone you date turns into a relationship. (2) When your gut tells you something's off, you're probably right. (3) It's important to keep an open mind and date different kinds of people that may not be "your type" at a first glance. (4) You can't take it personally, even though it feels very personal. Everyone's in this to meet someone, and not every match is The Match. Eharmony commercials are not real life. And online dating is decidedly NOT like prom dress shopping, after all.

But here's the good thing about eharm: I had some real-world, fun dates, and now there are six other people who are communicating with me, and 25 matches in my folder, and five more delivered each day. I've got about a month left, and I intend to make the most of it. As roomie CK says, "now you can do whatever you want this weekend!" and as $L2 says, "Boys are retarded." I agree.

Here's to David, physician, 29,
$L6

$ingle Lady #4 - Final Countdown

One month left and I think I have officially exhausted the Boston dating pool. So like the other $ingle ladiez I will now blog about my opinions on dating and boys.

First though, a recap of the most recent eharmz escapades. Inspired by the other $Ls, I did a full out inventory of my matches and (attempted) to strike up communication with the ones I deemed to be acceptable in order to make the most of the remainder of this experience. Either these matches do not check their account or they have died. I think I maybe have heard back from 3 of them? I got nudged by one today, which COMPLETELY irritated me. Just because I am not religiously checking my account like you are does not mean you need to click that giant orange button to nudge me. I have decided I may make him hang on one more day before he gets closed.

Here are some recent true love matches:

Occupation:specail skills (spelling please.)

The three things which matthew is most thankful for:
- caring
- kindness
- how much time i spend with her (HUH?)

The three things which devin is most thankful for: (note how many he actually lists)
- i guess xbox 360 and medical cannabis
- thats tough i look for some much its hard to say witch one is most importent

The things devin can't live without are: this rediculous world we live in (lord please help me.)

The last book devin read and enjoyed: buddhism for dummys the dahli lamma is always so happy most be some thing to it (i dont even know what to say.)

$L6 obviously plans a fatty date

So last night it was my turn to plan a date with my IMF: at my suggestions we went to get burgers at Big Buns and then blizzards at DQ (which, btw, is having an anniversary celebration: buy one blizzard, get the second for a quarter [thanks for the heads up, $L5!]).

We're getting more comfortable with each other, and it's really easy breezy---the way it should be in the beginning, I think. He makes me laugh and teases me in just the right ways to bug me but be adorable, and the way his smile lights up his face is starting to light up mine. (EWWWW gross!) At the end of the date he affirmed that my idea was great and he had tons of fun. Score one for meat patties and butterfinger blizzards! They shall never fail me.

In other news, I had a dream (nightmare) last night that I was meeting up in Paris for a date with edamame boy. I thought I was supposed to be meeting my IMF but then the other guy showed up and I cried. Wah.

That's all I got! Isn't my dating life so boring?

Keepin' it real,
$L6

$L#1 agrees with $L#2, and has found her a $olution

Samesies for me. Now you'll just get my random pontifications on life in general. However, before I totally step off dating see the below.

http://www.savethedating.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=1&Itemid=2

Save the Date(ing), a successful California- and New York-based social-networking group for singles aged 25-40, is coming to Washington, DC. Become a member, and you'll gain instant access to fun monthly singles events like Pizza Making 101 and squash lessons. An equal ratio of guys to girls is maintained. Membership starts at $250 for three months. There are plans to expand the program to other cities like Boston, Philly, Miami, and Chicago.
- thank you, $tar Magazine

What a fantastic, very $L#2-sounding idea! Prepster-inspired events like cigar-rolling, sailing 101, and "putting the sexy back in ceramics" make this sound like a totally ideal mate-seeking situation.

Keeping back pocket for when that tax refund check comes in...

xo,
$L#1

$ingle lady #2 and eWhatever

Hello friends. What's new? It looks like some of the $L's have either died or found boyfriends. But I don't want our blog to die! But I also don't want to talk to anyone on eHarmony anymore. What to do, what to do.

I've still been checking up on my matches to make sure I'm not missing out on any SP's, but I haven't seen any. Pretty much an overall yawn. And I'm pretty sure it's because my heart's just not in it. I'd rather go shopping after work than keep attending drunken blind dates, or dance to Justin Bieber with my $L or non-$L friends on the weekends. Maybe it's the weather? On a chilly winter afternoon you want someone with whom you can snuggle on the couch with a cup of hot cocoa. On a breezy spring afternoon, I'd rather play kickball on the National Mall with 25 guys. Whee!

So, do you mind if I just keep blogging about my opinions on girls and boys? If you said yes, too bad because I can't hear you and I'm going to do it anyway. My thoughts lately have been about these ke$ha lyrics: "you must be blind if you can't see you'll miss me till the day you die" (Right? Did you know ke$ha was so deep? I recommend buying the album immediately). We girls say/think crap like this. We console our friends post-breakup by saying "He doesn't know how to accept love! He'll die alone!" "He'll realize that he made a big mistake!"

But the fact is, this probably isn't true. I mean, we liked this boy at some point, for some reason. And it's pretty silly to think that another girl won't come along and like him for the same reasons. And she'll probably have boobs so he'll probably like her back. Every day I look around on the metro, or on TV or in songs and people are loving each other and wearing wedding rings and producing more miniature people. So I suppose when you want to start loving and getting married and producing miniature people, it can't be too hard to find some sucker to come along for the ride.

Yay romance!

$L#2

$L6 cooks chicken and compares men to prom dresses

At the encouragement of my friends to strive for a healthy ROI from my eharmony experience, I decided to meet one of the other early eharmony contenders for drinks this week. In the back of my mind, I kept thinking that eharmony is like prom dress shopping ---- even when you find one you really like, you should continue trying on other dresses just to be sure. You'll likely buy the first one you tried on, but still.

I met the new guy at a bar in a mall, and immediately noticed some height fudging on his end---I'm short, was in flats, and we were about the same height. Also, he stuck his hand out, and I went in for the awkward hug, and it started things off feeling kind of weird.

We each ordered two drinks, and I quickly learned he doesn't like sports or watch too much TV. Um, he doesn't like sports. [Incidentally, I asked my other IMF last night what he thought of boys who don't like sportst. His response: "Gay."] I also learned that he likes Bud Light Wheat and enjoys ordering edamame in bars (which he did at 10:30 p.m.). All in all, I won't give away too many dirty details in order to protect the innocent, but it was just bland. I thought the date was over, but returned from the bathroom to see he was dining on beans, and then we lasted another hour or so before I politely declined his offer for a ride home and walked back from the mall. I got no follow up yesterday so I can imagine he felt the same way I did.

On paper, this should have worked, because he has a lot of qualities I usually look for. In reality it was as bland as unsalted pretzels and as fulfilling as a single cube of fat-free cheese. Halfway through, I texted my other IMF, so I think that's all the signs I need.

Meanwhile, last night was my 5th date with IMF, and I fittingly made my 5th date chicken. He raved, enjoyed, cleaned his plate, thanked me 50 times, and ate with exceptional table manners (swoon!). He also fawned over my cheesecake appropriately and brought me beer. Clearly, this is working.

Never order edamame at a bar,
$ "So I'm sitting at the $ingles table at this wedding on $aturday but I'm maybe not so $ingle?" L6

$ingle Lady #1: Clarifying Point...

Clarifying point due to questions....Lawyerboy is not "off the table" as in "out of my life." He's just off limits to blog about.

xo,
$L#1

$ingle Lady #1: I'm back!!!

Don't worry loyal readers, I won't leave you out in the cold just yet.

With IMF solidly off the table, my blogging experience has to be limited to the other $ketchy things that happen in my life. Let's begin with $peed Dating!

So long ago and far away, on the eve of April Fools, I journey to a land called Murray Hill with some $keptical co-workers and friends to try our hand at $peed Dating. Much like internet dating, it's a phenomenon nation-wide that is largely misunderstood, and I wish I could say, mis-hated-on. Unfortunately, every stereotype you can imagine for $peed daters is totally true. It was really a bunch of misfits who had to awkwardly sit opposite each other and talk about the same thing every 4 minutes for 2 hours. True to form, there were wayyy more women than men (which prompted them to offer me a free future session to compensate...score!), the men were wayyy older and woofer than men in the Real World, and the air reeked of desperation. Sure, we were there too...label us as you will, but of the 10ish men I "dated" that night, zero came in as a "yes."

The format is simple. Women sit in one place all night. This is key for the waitress to be able to find you to constantly refill your bevvie. Men switch every 4 minutes. We were an intimidating bunch, 5 of us in a row, and the men braved it nicely. In the span of those 4 minutes my first "date" mentioned the words "murder," "pedophile," and "drug dealer." Friend J (his next...victim?) immediately circled "N" (no interest) before he even got a chance to open his mouth to her. Date #3 high-fived me 4 times in 4 minutes. Excellent ratio, and almost scored him a "Y" (as in...yes, I'd like to pursue you further). Date #7 and I had the makings of a nasty fight about the Dove Self-Esteem Fund until the whistle blew and saved us (he was a Victoria's Secret graphic designer...I obviously felt the need to defend Real women everywhere). N, N, N, N, N, N, you get the picture. Particularly flattering was a foreign gentleman who spoke no English and required just a polite head-nod to encourage him to continue talking in gibberish for the entire 4 minutes. The only line I caught was as he sat down, he looked me up and down and mumbled "Yes, definitely Yes." Eww.

What a drag, but fortunately the pre-$peed dating shots kicked in early and we stayed to hang out as a group for a bit. Still no date potential but it was better than the awkward between-whistle made up conversation we'd been having. After several more drinks at our own private "after party" across the street, I convinced IMF to meet me for a late night drink at a different bar where I immediately confessed where I'd been in an effort to make him a little jealous.

Curiosity killed my cat and I actually checked out my profile the next day. I'm flattered to report that 5 dudes "Yes-ed" me to the next round (including the creepy foreign man! And my high-fiver!!). Also confirmed what I already knew...that they were all older than the "max age limit" which thereby totally justified that we had to lie and age ourselves up to be able to go.

Overall $peed Dating as a potential matchmaking opportunity? Not a chance. You're better off sidling up to that $exy $tranger on the Metro...

xo,
$L#1

$ingle lady #4 follows up

As $ingle lady #2 so cleverly pointed out, eHarmz is also now manipulating my quiz results in order to make me end up with the Boston Leo. FML.

$ingle lady #4 - Who is your celeb match?

eHarmz is starting to feel bad for me and is sending me various quizzes to take so I can better align my interests with potential matches. I received one the other day titled, "Who is your Celeb Match?" While this sounded like one of those lame email chain quizzes I used to take in 7th grade, I was atleast curious to see what the result turned out.

Similar to 7th grade and the days of Titanic, I should be still pining after:

Leonardo DiCaprio

You and Leo are both romantic, loyal, socially conscious and very cool!

So recap: update my profile to say that I am loyal, socially conscious, and very cool. And say that I am only interested in romantic, loyal, socially conscious and very cool men.

$ingle lady #2: places I want to meet men other than the internet...

...but don't know how:

#1. Running on Rock Creek Parkway - as soon as the weather hits 60 degrees, RCP is filled with runners and bikers and I finally feel like maybe I'm not in danger of getting raped by a creep hiding in the woods. And you know what? A lot of these runners/bikers are slampieces. Running without shirts, running with rippling abs and chiseled quads that make me melt. But, how would I ever speak to one? "Hey! (pant) You're cute! (pant)" Oh and he's already long gone, running away at 10mph while I chug along at 6. "'Kay see ya 'roundddd!" Fail.

#2. Metro - there are many cute boys on the metro but I'm severely opposed to metro chatting unless you are my friend and we would chat in real life.

#3. Grocery store - especially when I used to live in Arlington, it was like a SPF (slampiece festival) at the local Harris Teets. The problem there is that 80% of the time the SP that catches your eye is with his live-in girlfriend.

I suppose if I really want to meet someone in public I'll have to start being friendly, smiling and initiating conversations with strangers. This is definitely not going to happen because I hate all of those things and am from NJ and prefer to walk with the bitchiest look possible on my face. While I may not attract potential matches, at least tourists are not tempted to ask me "where the zoo's at?"

maybe the eH customer care rep wants to take out $ingle lady #2

I called eH ready to crack some $kullz over my $96 charge when I'd rather be a quitter. But then the dude was all nice and didn't really give me a chance to be mean and gave me two options one of which gave me back $57 and I still get one more month of membership. So fine, y'all are stuck with me for another month.

The nice man on the phone asked why I wanted to stop - perhaps I needed to ajdust my settings to get some more communication? And I was like, no, I'm just writing a blog and need to spend my money on these awesome Frye wedges I just found online instead and I hate love and have no interest in pretending to look for it any longer. Okay, I didn't say that. I just said "it's not a problem with communication (read: I'm soooo cool and everyone wants to talk to me), for personal reasons I no longer wish to continue" and he said "I understand."

But then at the end he says "I'd like to compliment you on your profile; for your remaining months maybe if you answered more of the About me questions you'd get more communication." So now I know he's clearly reading about my cheese obsession and thinking um you're a freak good thing you're cancelling.

So, onward I blog for 30 more days. Also, I logged in today, and Brooks Brothers tie has closed me! To everyone who was concerned for the tie - other than his initial statement about wanting it back he really hasn't made much of an attempt. So I plan to wear it as a cool belt or regift it to my dad for Father's Day.


-$L#2

$ingle Lady #4: Bad Romance = Bad Economics

I have little over a month left on my eHarmz subscription and I don't even want to calculate out the economics of the whole deal. I feel that my experience out of all the $ingle ladiez is perhaps the most disappointing? For the record, I have gone on one date and it was just ehh. Nothing like the other $Ls where they meet someone actually compatible with them and ACTUALLY like them. Granted there were at least 4 drinks consumed on my date, but still I am no where close to earning back my ROI on this deal. I even forgot the other day that I was signed up, until I received yet another too-young-for-me match who is still in college eagerly showering me with icebreakers. No thanks. I did receive another match today who is in my acceptable age range and also lives in Boston, eliminating geographical challenges. But his picture is sneaky, it includes another male in the photo and there are no additional photos, so I cannot tell which one he is. But I am guessing he is the more unattractive of the 2. Figures.

I think I have finally shaken my friend Leo. Not that I was intentionally trying to get rid of him, I just wasn't really interested in going on another date once he started displaying tendencies of desperate girl syndrome, which isn't exactly a turn on. I think he finally got the hint 2 weeks ago, I was on gchat during the day at work but couldn't really chat since I was out at a client. He sent me a message, then another message, then another message. It was as if he was having his own conversation with himself. I found this sort of amusing so I just let him continue talking to himself without responding back. The NEXT day, same thing starts. Sends a message, then another message. Then I got the kicker:

leo: are u there?
leo: annnd i'm getting ignored...
leo: if you don't want to talk to me just tell me you don't have to ignore me

Now let's break this down. We went on ONE date. It was just ok. This is sort of an aggressive statement to be throwing out there considering these facts. Not to mention its more guilt tripping! Clearly it didn't work in the first place, so I don't think its going to work period. After these messages I finally responded, just to get him off my back. I intentionally tried to make him feel embarrassed since he was clearly overreacting. And I haven't received a message since, sooo I think we are good.

My friend C provided me with this very pertinent link yesterday, which further exemplifies the red flags associated with Leo:

http://www.thefrisky.com/post/246-the-top-10-online-dating-mistakes-guys-make/

Here are some more gems from my inventory of matches, just so you know what I am dealing with in the Boston dating pool:

Some additional information Mike wanted you to know is: Sex would be a plusssssssss+++++++++

The last book Bryan read and enjoyed: The Secrets of Female Sexuality, the title is self-explanatory, Its a mandatory read for guys in my opinion. very interesting

Some additional information Bryan wanted you to know is: My first choice is a dark eyed and dark haired lady.

The one thing Bryan wishes MORE people would notice about him is: That Im not a player

Occupation:Seminarian

$ingle Lady #1: ROI Analysis

Fortunately, that giant post-it reminded me to cancel yesterday so no additional charges for me. It was shockingly easy (sorry $L#2). Now if only I'd pay attention to the new angry post-it saying "Priority" on the folder that holds my taxes and lease renewal. Naughty, naughty.

Anne is right - I think I "win" this one from an ROI perspective. I'm bad with what things cost, so I'll just break out a list:

8 dates down:

(+) 15-20 drinks (sorry Mom, but I promise, it's spread out!)
(+) 2 dinners
(+) Wine brought to Easter brunch
(-) Cabs from all these drunken dates
(+) On Demand of Did you Hear About the Morgans? (maybe two +s because it was DYHAtM? Though, quick plug, because I thought it was great!)

Definitely squarely in the positive ROI. However, I'd actually say eHarmz was an overall fail. Yes, I met a great guy and we seem very compatible so far (he likes the AirTrain at JFK airport too!!! Plus 10!), but I only met one. I Closed 227, was Communicating (slowly and uninterestedly) with 43, and had not explored 79 new matches. That's a .29% chance of meeting someone in 3 months, for $120. Seems I have a better chance of dating a homeless guy than of actually "finding love" through the Web!

Unfortunately, I have to stop writing about my dates with IMF. He's still in the dark about this whole operation and it's not fair to him. I've officially upgraded him to just MF, and wouldn't run gagging if he ever introduced me as his [girlfriend] (as I breathe into a paper bag...). It's likely that I'll finally get the balls to tell him (probably drunk) one day, and we'll get in a giant fight because it will turn out that he also had some sort of bet with his friends about me, and I'll take a job in San Francisco and he'll come chasing me across a bridge on a motorcycle carrying a dead Love Fern and Follow You Down by the Gin Blossoms will play in the background - wait, that's someone else's story...

Don't worry, there's still plenty of weird stuff that happens to me that doesn't involve him!

'til then,
$L#1

$L6 has 4 dates in 9 days

....with the same boy. Maybe eHarm got one right? My IMF and I are going to see the Phillies beat the Nationals tomorrow night here in DC, last night we watched the tourney together, last week was lots of drinking and food. He makes me laugh, has a fantastic smile, and likes to talk more than I do. Meanwhile, I've got 45 new and unviewed matches, haven't signed on in days, and I'm (gasp) even considering turning matching off.

Good dates make bad stories,

$L6

$ingle lady #2 - eH IS SO SNEAKY and I am PISSED

So my eH membership was "paid through April 6." I went in to cancel today. They had already auto-renewed me and charged my credit card for 96 more dollars. That is too many dollars. NO NO NO NO I did not feel like spending my day on the phone with these bastards. I should have cancelled yesterday but I was too busy buying new sunglasses in NJ. Woooo tax-free clothes shopping.

ASSUMING I'm able to remove this charge, I would like to present you with the full economic analysis of my 3-month eH membership, which cost $120:

2 beers on Ben: $8
2 drinks on Pete: $10
0 drinks on sssshiv: $0
3 champagne cocktails and appetizers on CC: ~$50
1 indian dinner on CC: ~$35
~5 strong beers and 1 cheese platter on CCC: ~$40
1 Brooks Brothers tie: apparently $75

TOTAL: $218 (...$143 pre-tie)

So I guess it was worth it?

-$L#2

$ingle lady #2 continued

So, I've been receiving some comments and I will agree that, yes, I should not have offered if I was going to be so weird and hate this boy forever for accepting to stay on my couch rather than man up and take the probably $35 cab ride home.

BUT, I have told this story to three different males on three distinct occasions, and they all told me the same thing: he knew what he was doing. I know, I know, we women don't want to believe when men tell us what other men are thinking. I don't either. But don't shoot the messenger. Here's one convo that luckily took place via gchat so I can show all of you (thanks to coworker CH who has become a loyal AT$L follower):

CH: Yeah, that guy had the game going full on
CH: As in, every step planned
me: you think?
CH: Oh yeah
me: what a creepshow
CH: Including the kiss
It was a test
vanilla = going home to sleep; anything more = going home WITH her
And I'll put $$ the "first eH date" is a crock
me: well I dont think he thought it was vanilla
CH: ha
CH: Well, there you go. Either way, it was a setup
Like in boxing...throwing the jab with your left so you can get them to move into a right hook

CH: You don't 1) live that far out and lose track of the metro, and 2) "forget" your favorite tie
me: well im glad im not crazy
CH: When you take off your tie, you put it with/in your coat...second nature
usually coat over a chair, tie over the coat
It's the order you take them off and just what almost always happens
me: right
CH: No, he's playing you. You've got this one right

$L6: Marathon date

I had a lot of fun last night. Good conversation, good person, good connection, good repartee, great time. Even though I pulled some typically awkward $L6 moments, like...almost getting hit by a car, he seemed to have fun too, and I had an email waiting for me at 9 a.m. this morning.

Good job, eH. Good job.

Feeling $unny,
$L6

Also a hilarious video.

$ingle Lady #1: Role Rever$al

Usually, I'm the $hady one. Weird stuff happens to me, not just in dating, but in life in general. I always survive, and it's usually funny, so it's NBD (if you're 14 you know what that means, for the rest of us...no big deal). But while $L#2 appears to have gone off the deep end (seriously?!?! you brought a stranger home?! I'm not even a Mom reading this and I was horrified...), I'm shifting quickly into the world of being a Grown Up. Lawyerboy has officially transitioned into being my Internet Man Friend (my "imf" - there, if that's not changing names to protect the innocent, I don't know what is) by the following criteria:

• I invited him to Easter brunch at my friend's apt, which will be all couples (eek!)
• In reciprocation, he invited me to his rooftop Friday night to grill/hang out with his friends
• I got called out by a coworker for going $peed Dating tonight since I "have a boyfriend"

Bah. Fortunately, my Mom knows me better:

Mom: i'm assuming you don't want him to come to dinner with [uncle] and me
Me: no absolutely not
Me: you wouldnt even know about him if i didnt write a blog

In an unrelated note, I finally completed the post-it I've had on my desk since Jan 5, telling me to "cancel eH" since there's some sort of automatic renewal clause. I found out it's harder to cancel than a credit card...particularly if you check "Single and still looking" as your current $tatus. "But wait!" they implore, "You haven't yet found true love!" They throw quote after quote at you from far reaching members of eHarmz who took over a year, but are sure glad they stuck around to find their soulmate. They convinced me to wait until April 5 when my membership really runs out just in case these next 7 days turn my $ingle $tatus upside down. Now an even bigger, and more imploring post-it decorates my desk "Apr 5, CANCEL eH." Double. Underlined.

xo,
$L#1

$ingle lady #2's shady ass dating story

"The point of blogs is to make other people feel more normal. Every girl has a shady ass dating story." -$L#2's BFF

With that advice, I begin the tale of last night's date.

I walk into our meeting place at approximately 8:07pm. The hostess/bartender seems to know that I am meeting someone and is like "I think this is his beer. I'll show you where he is." So perhaps he prepped her for my arrival. He is sitting at a table and looks different than his pictures, and has a slight beard situation (no problem here, I enjoy beards). Maybe a 7 on the SPS (I've been told by a coworker that "slampiece" is only supposed to refer to sex, according to Urban Dictionary, but let's be clear that I'm only using it to describe level of attractiveness).

So recently I've started to like and appreciate delicious beers. This bar had them. But the problem with these new delicious beers is they are like 8, 9, 10% alcohol, not your average Bud Light. And maybe I should start eating dinner pre-dates, because bits of a cheese platter does not always equal a meal. We chat, laugh, he wants to know about my other eH dates since this is his first. I give him the 411. I am having fun. Then I notice that it is midnight. He notices that it is midnight. The metro in DC stops running at midnight. This isn't a big problem for me because I'm only about 2 miles from home. BUT he lives far, far, far, far away (McLean, woof). He parks his car at a metro stop far, far, far away (West Falls Church, woof). I'm sort of drunk and I say to be nice that I have a pullout couch, expecting him obviously to decline the offer. But he doesn't.

So we get a cab home, I set him up on the couch and proceed to lock myself in my room after sending RoomieJ a warning text of what is going on. I do not know what is wrong with me and the more I think about this situation the more I dislike it and I'm sorry to the moms reading the blog for being an unsafe idiot who lets strangers into my home. I mean, I know he just moved back here from NYC but you must know that the metro doesn't run 24 hours a day. He says that he will leave early so my roommate will not be startled.

Oh also I forgot that while walking to get a cab he kissed me. It was vanilla.

So this morning I wake up early and have a killer headache and listen, listen, listen for him to leave. He does and then I get up. I get ready for work. I'm about to walk out the door when I see it. His tie (Brooks Brothers). COME ON. What are you some sort of girl starring in "How to Lose A Guy in 10 Days"???

On the metro to work I get an email from him (8:30am):

"Further perpetuating what must seem to you like a massive, sociopathic scam, I forgot my tie. I'll need that back. It's a favorite.

You have to give me some credit though. Last night/this morning could have gone much worse. You could have woken up this morning with me standing in a corner of your bedroom, wearing one of your dresses with your goldfish in hand. +25 restraint points for me.

Online dating is the best. Have a great day."

It was a hilarious email and I laughed. But, all is not forgiven (the fact that he even thought that up makes me slightly nervous). The tie was a sacrifice and he will never see it or me again.

$ingle lady #2: another day, another date

Now that I have finally made it back to DC, I have a date tonight with CCC (cookie crisp classmate). I am wearing a dress from Banana Republic and some patent leather shoes to wick away the rain. We are going somewhere that looks to have a fabulous beer selection, so I approve of his choice.

I feel like quite a veteran blind-dater these days, as $ingle ladiez 5 and 6 have asked me for advice. The most pressing question? "Do I shake his hand?" I realized that I never really thought about what I do when we meet - I know that CC gave me a big hug, and for some reason it worked. But the others involved no handshake, hug or touching of any kind (my preference, as someone adverse to hugging).

I've also discovered that I'm bad at multi-tasking with these guys. There was another, who I thought I liked and was talking to before CCC came along. But as soon as he did, I couldn't be bothered to answer anyone else. I had two messages this weekend saying "Hope I didn't scare you off :o)" (god that emoticon...) and "Hey how was your race?" from another who I realized I left hanging. I think I'm ready for my membership to end. But I still want to blog!

$L#2

$L#6 has a date tomorrow

Yay! Let's just all focus on the title of that post, and thank our stars that my first date is getting in jussssst under the Easter deadline wire. I'll have the full $L recap on Wednesday, but for now I'm thinking about how I wish I had used whitestrips and that I wish I had a new wardrobe and that I wish it weren't supposed to rain tomorrow and that I'm really, REALLY nervous.

Wish me luck!
$L#6

$ingle Lady #1 is a real Single Lady...and Dood meets the Fam

There are a lot of days, when it's 11 pm and I'm formatting an Excel spreadsheet, that I wonder why I stay at my job. But, then there are also days, like Thursday evening, that I remember why I do (other than the supreme satisfaction that what I do all day makes more people buy Dove soap. No really). You're lookin at [the writing of] a girl who's taking dance lessons from Beyonce's choreographer, learning the actual Single Ladies dance. Seriously. Check it out:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4m1EFMoRFvY

Sadly, I can't do the frog legs part and make it look sexy, although, let's be serious, what about the statement "frog legs part" even SOUNDS sexy. However, my time will come, during the stripper dance booty-out-swoop-up-from-a-crouch part, since that's how I dance anyways (Mom, it's not as bad as it sounds...). We're currently up to the :41s mark. Phew.

Last night was an office going away party for two fallen comrades. Super casual, since it was a Friday night, but pretty high attendance. My night was supposed to begin with that, early, then swing over to another bar to watch the Buffalo Sabres game. As always, I was at work too late and scrambled to get to the first place at all, so I was stuck there. Lawyerboy was supposed to meet me at the Sabres bar to be appraised by two [judgy] friends to do a quick temperature check on my 5th date. Not wanting to go another two week stretch without seeing him, I made a bold decision to invite him to the bar with my coworkers.

For people who work in normal offices, this isn't a big deal. Casual Friday evening drinks at a neighborhood pub, where everyone sits around, probably talking about work, then leaves at a reasonable hour to go home to their families. Or real people lives. For me, this isn't the case.

The last time I brought a guy to meet my coworkers we were on our 5th round of shots by the time he got there. One friend pushed him onto a bar stool and screamed "WHAT ARE YOUR INTENTIONS WITH MY FRIEND" in his face. Two male coworkers cooked up a scheme to tell him that one of them was my ex-boyfriend, then he spent the whole night lurking a step or two next to me. [Editor's note: that was quick to unravel soon thereafter]. Sometimes it's hard that everyone you work with thinks we're all related. Imagine my apprehension with bringing another poor sucker into the fold.

Strangely, it worked out pretty beautifully. Most people had left by the time he arrived, so it was a smaller core group. One girl did waltz up to meet him, I turned away briefly and returned to her telling him she was going to slap him, him not backing down, followed by her declaration of love for him before she gave him a huge hug. Still don't know what that was about...

Overall, we survived the night. I'm sure I'll get a full debriefing on Monday, but did get a text this morning "Honestly, I didn't want to like him [shocker] but he seems like a good guy. You have my permission to continue," out of one of my tougher big brothers.

He has a total of three families to impress. One down last night with my coworkers (well, "down" I guess we'll see on Monday!). One doesn't happen until football season starts. Then my real family. Poor kid is swimmin upstream...

<3,
$L#1

$ingle lady #4 has no pity

Leo: so one date and thats it huh...

Why do boys take this approach with girls?? Guilt-tripping me into going out with you is no way into this $ingle lady's heart. I just received this gchat from my friend Leo and it has really put a crimp in my Thursday afternoon.

Speaking with a fellow $L, I copied and pasted the above statement to which she replied:

C: honestly, i hate when guys take that approach, like "oh, i feel bad for you now so of course ill go on second date."

It's true though! Yes, I have been not initiating gchats with him, but I didn't reject him for a second date. He had asked me last week if I was interested in going out for dinner, I had legitimate plans each night with friends to do something (which is when he dropped the second question about my eH dating escapades), and I haven't heard from him since! This gchat is DEFINITELY not dignified a response.

PS. I received a match this week named Zeke. Hello character from a Goosebumps novel.

PPS. I also received an awkward bbm this morning from my old friend W (see ranting blog post from several weeks ago). IGNORE.

$tatistic$

Very interesting!!


I especially like: 1 in 3 women have sex when they meet a match in person for the first time?? I'm pretty positive we're 0-fer here at AT$L...

$ingle lady #2's crush of the week, and the small small world that is eH

My lover of the week is named Chaz.* His fave Christmas move is Home Alone 2, he used to live in NYC, is super-cute and wearing a George-Clooney-in-Ocean's-Eleven-suit-with-no-tie in his picture, is 28 and has started his own company. BONUS!

*I've been told to stop using real names. I wish his name was Chaz.

We flew through our guided communication, and he writes me an email to say he has "a good feeling about this" and throws out several options for dates this weekend, as well as his email address and number. I email back to say that I'm out of town this weekend, but next week would be an option.

As I anxiously wait to hear back, I decide to do some light stalking now that I have his email address and last name. There he is on Facebook - hmm he graduated from a tiny liberal arts college outside of Philadelphia...I've heard of this before...and we have a friend in common! Who could it be?? Can you guess??







Yes, cookie crisp. Is this for real? Shoot I hope they fight over me.

-SL#2

$ingle lady #5's BiG NiGhT

So I went on my date last night. Overall I'd rate it an 8 based on the fact that I laughed 75% of it, there were no awkward silences, and he was pretty talkative. He obviously did some light google stalking. Within the first 5 minutes he asked where I went for undergrad, I replied "Richmond" and he responded with "THE SPIDERS! They had a big upset back in 1987." Someone did some homework... Any way whatev he was pretty cute... an 8 on the SPS.

Signs the date went well / Pros of Michael
-He paid
-He gave me a hug at the end
-He touched my leg at least at least four times.
-He likes sports.
-He is Catholic.

Signs the date went not so well / Cons of Michael
-There was no follow-up "Lets do this again!!!"
- I have a small bladder and went to the bathroom twice- 20 minutes
apart. I hope he didn't think I was texting my friends.
- Some how my CPA flashcards became topic of conversation and he
started quizzing me.


So IDK, if he calls sweet. If he doesn't I'll move on. $L2 said no texting "Thanks for last night!" So i'll give myself all day today to act like a 15 year old and then I'm moving on.

-$L5

$ingle Lady #4 is matchless

I think it would be an understatement that I am disappointed with eHarmz right now. I've expressed my complaints before here and there but I'm very much starting to regret this membership. It has been a full week since I have received a new match. The last being a 31 year old named Albert (Brenaman?). I was hoping for some new matches at least this past week since it was yet another free communication weekend. But alas, no slampieces have been delivered to me.

I have decided to actively start ignoring Leo. I was slightly optimistic after our date to give him a second chance to redeem himself from his tool-ish comments, hoping that it was just first date jitters. Alas my theories about gchat style have come to life with this one. It started last week when he asked me this:

leo: so have any other "eharmz" dates this week? (I made the mistake of dropping our nickname for the site).

Now, I share my dating activities with friends. I do NOT share with someone who I might potentially go out with? He asked me this again a few days later when he asked me out for dinner. This is when I started to get weirded out. He has made attempts to gchat but I've been sort of non responsive. This just solidified $L 2's discount clothing theory. Honestly, I'm sure he is a nice guy. But he was definitely that cute dress on the hanger. He just came on a little too strong for my liking and now I am turned off.

My other strategy of ignoring the boring matches and straight-to-email aggressive matches has somewhat worked and I've been closed by them! Further cutting down the list.

However as my current dating life is the dumps, I am thinking about going into business with Patti Stanger and becoming a matchmaker, as I made a potential love connection between 2 friends this weekend! As my ploy to hit on the cute guy with the SBH (southern boy haircut) backfired (he turned out to be underage?), my friends were enjoying themselves on the d-floor. Frankly I've always been better at matching other people than myself.

Praying for new matches,
$L #4

$ingle lady #2: Hi, my name is $ingle lady #2...sincerely, $ingle lady #2

I've had an onslaught of straight-to-email requests in the past few days. eHarmony discourages, and I'm starting to think they may have a point. I kind of like taking the normal path, reading their cosmo quizzes, must haves, and seeing what kind of open-ended questions/answers they can craft.

The email invitation strategies, have been varied, though:

-"Hi how are you!" ...umm what kind of response were you expecting? "Good, how are you?" This could on for approximately 12 weeks before I uncover his favorite color.

-"Um, hi, I just wanted to say that you're pretty haha and just wanted to say hi and just wanted to say that I'd like to get to know you haha." ...If you just wanted to say it, JUST SAY IT! Grow a pair.

-"Hi my name is John and I think we'd get along. My # is XX and my email is XX. Thanks, John" ...a) I know your name is John it's all over your profile and b) eeeeeassy there cowboy.

-"What are the top ten things I should know about you?" ....Ten? Let's not be greedy. Although, here is what I'd like to say:

1. I've bitten my nails since I was 2. I may have found the cure thanks to OPI Axxium Gel Polish.
2. I love skinny people and would love to be one. Like, really skinny.
3. Unfortunately, I love cheeb's too much to achieve #2.
4. I am writing a blog about you.
5. I am addicted to shopping, which I got from my mom, which she got from my grandmother.
6. I don't want a boy who is sensitive. Don't cry.
7. The way to my heart is through Nike Air Cole Haan shoes.
8. While I love my job, I'm pretty sure I'd love to have a collection of aprons and spend my day like June Cleaver.
9. When I read the questions that screen for alcoholism on questionnaires I administer at work, I get concerned about my behavior.
10. No, really, I'm writing a blog about you right now.

What do you think - send?

$ingle lady #5 brought a nip of tequila in preparation for her date tonight

After going back and forth with Mike the school teacher, we're finally going on a date tonight. I'm already sweating. He gave me his gchat email since "he doesn't really check eH that often." This is actually code for, "your return time on my eH averages 5-7 days so let's cut to the chase and go straight to gchat." His gchat email is cwru625@.... WTF? Who doesn't use their actual name? This reminds me of college screen names like Surfstud919. He probably made this name up for signing up for free porn and eH. I gave him mine, realizing he has full access to facebook/google stalking.

So I received an email last night at 8p. "Tuesday night. Pepper Cannister. 7p. Talk soon." So it is official. I BBM'd my bffs, requesting outfit advice. All my clothes are at the dry cleaners except for two pairs of tight pants- black and khaki. I wore the black Monday so I was left with the Khaki. The outfit choosing convo went as follows:


BFF: Wear work sexual attire.
Me:I wore my sexy pants today.
BFF: Like wear a cute work outfit.
Me. I know how about tight suit khaki pants, jcrew ruffly tank and cardigan.
BFF: No NO KHAKIS.
BFF: Well do you have anything else tight?
Me: Everything else is at the dry cleaners. What about a black wrap dress?
BFF: YES!
Me: Ok done!

So this morning I'm wearing... my khaki pants, jcrew ruffly tank and cardigan.

Counting down til 7p.

SL5

$L #6's mom rewrites her eHarm profile

So I showed my Mom my eHarm profile, and she was not happy. In fact, Mama edited the crap out of it. The final product turned out to be way better, though, so I'm sharing her wisdom here.

The one thing Laura is most passionate about:

Old: Grammar and vocabulary, Philadelphia sports teams, summertime at the Jersey Shore, friends and family

Mom says: “You have grammar and vocabulary first?! Geez, that scares even me. Do NOT put that as your passion. Even if you are, some boy that doesn’t know his SAT words is going to be intimidated by you. Get that off there.”

New: Philadelphia sports teams, summertime at the Jersey Shore, cooking/grilling

Height

Old: 5′3”

Mom says: Really? You’re only 5′3”? Change that to 5′4” and go to yoga. We’ll stretch you. Wear heels.

New: 5′4”

The one thing Laura wishes MORE people would notice about her is:

Old: That I’m awesome at board games.

Mom says: Hmm, that makes it seem like you stay inside playing Trivial Pursuit at night. Make it more inclusive. More mysterious.

New: That you definitely want me on your team.

The things Laura can’t live without are:

Old:

• breakfast food, especially bacon
• gchat
• cheese
• my DVR
• dogs

Mom says: “Too many food items! Get that breakfast food off there. Everyone knows you like bacon, let him find that out on his own. Your DVR? No. Gchat? What the hell is gchat? Let’s be more specific, less fatty, and more interesting.”

New:

• Christmas
• iTunes
• golden retrievers
• the beach
• cheese

Some additional information Laura wanted you to know is:

Old: If you like the Giants or the Cowboys or the Yankees, we might not get along.

Mom says: “Too exclusive. What if a Giants fan has a nice smile and will buy you flowers?”

New: If you like the Giants or the Cowboys or the Yankees, we might not get along….but we can try.

_______________

So, what did I learn from my Mom? Keep it short and sweet. Some detail is good, too much detail is cumbersome. Be honest, but open-minded. Be yourself. Don’t try too hard. And also, Moms are usually right.

$L#6 - WTF is a Personal Blanket?

Occupation: Children's Fitness Instructor

Leisure time: Hanging out, playing video games and poker

Things XX can't live without:

• Personal Blanket
• sports
• gambling
• ipod
• friends

Discuss.

$ingle lady #2: two-date curse

I'm just not sure if I'll ever make it past two dates with a guy. CC and I seem to have fizzled out, although he did send me a text at 2:30am on Friday. I'm sorry, did I miss the part when we progressed to booty-call-status? Considering he didn't even try to kiss me on the first two dates, I found this a bit forward.

I've been traveling and not in DC, and today finally took some time to catch up with my matches. One, who I thought was promising and cute, AND who said his favorite Christmas movies are Home Alone and Die Hard (major props for counting both of these as xmas flicks), has closed me. The reason? "Because I was put on hold." Now we have discussed the "Final Message" options here at AT$L several times, and none of them are "Wait! I was just busy! Don't be impatient, I'm ready to respond!" There's basically no way I can say that, unless I say "I think we had potential" or some shit like that. So I guess it was not meant to be. Because really, I took so long to answer the questions because they were too hard. I literally spent 20 minutes searching for the response I wrote to someone else when asked "What are the three best traits you have to offer?" so I could copy and paste instead of thinking about it again.

Sorry for being MIA, I have more things to say stored up for later today,
$L#2

$ingle Lady #1 has been delinquent

I know, I know, I've been super delinquent about the postings. Truth be told, I haven't done much in the way of dating lately. I've been busy with other things and I just don't have time to [gasp] have a personal life. Lawyerboy had to cancel our gaming date last weekend due to illness, but made up for it by cheering for my Spiders in the NCAA tourney yesterday. Maj bonu$ pointz for getting his whole firm into a conf room to watch AND cheer AND text me updates during a marathon meeting. Ohhh to be a fly on the wall when he responded to the, "wait, did you go to Richmond?" question from his co-workers. "Uhh, no, this girl that I met on the world wide web did, and we've been on a few dates and I've cancelled or bailed on her twice so I feel like I should," or worse, "My girlfriend went there." Shudder.

My $i$ter is in town visiting and brought with her a nugget of iDating wisdom from a fellow silent $ingle Lady (shoutout Mrs. F) to not renew after the required 3 months since there aren't enough new joinees and you quickly drop the number of matches (or worse, get matched with the same doods over and over. Eww, I Closed you for a reason). Better to pulse your memberships to allow for brighter and better $ingle Doods to accumulate first. Totally true - I'm now down to like 4 new matches a week as I enter the home stretch 10 days of membership.

Resched with lawyerboy for this Sunday for a quiet and short evening break probably involving March Madness. Hope I still like him after over 2 weeks "off." Given my affinity for food products made up exclusively of sodium and MSG, my non-clingyness, and my sincere love of all things sports, I imagine he's probably currently questioning whether I'm the world's perfect woman, or else secretly a dood.

xo,
$L#1

$ingle lady #6 - $pring has $prung

Hello readers,

Well $pring has $prung for this $L, and I am ready and roaring to get out there and go on a date. My Easter deadline is fast-approaching, and while I initially had thought it would be easy-peasy to go on six dates by then, that is not the reality. I firmly believe eHarmony should not be allowed to charge you for your first month of membership. It takes a long, long time to get the ball rolling on these things. It takes at least a week or more to even get to the e-mailing stage, and even longer to where you're comfortable meeting someone in real life. And to top it off, once I've boiled down the 70 or so matches, I ended up with about three I might be interested in. The first month is for whittling down and exploring, not dating, so I think it's unfair to charge me $40 for it.

I'm finally getting some communication going, one with funny Brian, one with nerdy med-student Jay, and another with the aloof and elusive Ben. (Side note: most popular name on eHarmony in DC = Ben. I've gotten about 7 Bens.)

I hope sometime next week to have a more exciting tale to regale you with,
$L6

$ingle lady #2: I am single because...

I have about 15 questions waiting in my inbox. And they are hard. I don't feel like answering them. One in particular comes to me from a guy named Scott (okay that's a lie, I have no idea which one asked me this):

Why are you $ingle?

Four little words have proven so daunting. Every time I think of crafting a response I am stumped. What is this guy looking for? A history of my relationships and why they failed? For me to reveal that I have outstanding restraining orders issued by boyfriends past? There is no way this is the venue for those kinds of discussions. And in true HJNTIY fashion, who the F cares (pardon my language $L#1's mom...)? I am single because I'm not dating anyone. Why do people obsess over reasons for everything? Sometimes things just are.

And furthermore, isn't this question kind of like when you lose your keys, and someone so matter-of-factly says, "Well where did you have them last?" If I KNEW where I was when I had my keys, they would not be lost. Is it true that if I knew why I was single, I wouldn't be?

Anyway it's late and I just finished watching an episode of LOST and I haven't a clue which way is up. Goodnight. And I'm not answering that question, Steve, or whoever you are.

$L#2

$L #4 - I Gchat, therefore I am

I have come to the conclusion that the way that you gchat is reflective of the type of person you are.

If I am already friends with you, this is a pretty accurate assessment of who you are and I can almost picture you talking to me in real life (for my long-distance best friends). But if I have yet to meet you, I can size you up with just a short conversation. Here is a summary of the indicators I have come up with:

- Excessive use of emoticons = toolbag. And now that gmail has made these faces animated, it just makes it worse. These should be used sparingly and only in an inside joke scenario. If you are trying to convey how you are really feeling through an emoticon, there are bigger issues at hand.

- Still using middle school AIM lingo = immature. Such words as "g2g," "ttyl" and others were fine to use when we were still taking spelling and vocabulary tests in school and we didn't know how to spell actual words. Plus you looked more appealing to your crush on AIM if you dropped a few of these terms. But now are are working adults, out of college, these terms should be left in the past. This just tells me you don't care about spelling or grammar, which are giant pet peeves of mine. I am guilty of ignoring the proper use of punctuation and capitalization when gchatting. However, I always spell my words out in their entirety and I don't need a special decoder or a search engine to figure out you are trying to say to me. An occasional LOL is fine with me, but only if you are actually laughing out loud.

- Type how you talk = potentially good or bad. Unless you are Eminem or that crazy beyotch Angelea from ANTM, I would assume you speak like a normal person. But when I see some "I ain't be talkin to nobody", our gchat is over.

An eHarmz update on me:

- A Leo recap: the day after the date he felt the need to recap the entire night to me (hint: I WAS THERE) via gchat. Also, he asked me to rate our date on a scale from 1 to 10. Also referred to me as "hot." Personally, I am not a fan of the term, unless you are referring to the temperature. I just don't find it very genuine. I haven't spoken with him since Friday, so who knows when he will surface asking for a second date.

- Got matched with a 19 year old today. Enough said.

- I have reached stage 3 of questions with a Matthew. His (one) picture shows some promise and he asked me some insightful questions.

- I had an aggressive battle with another Matthew on Friday afternoon. I was first nudged by Matthew. I rechecked his profile, only to see that this was one of the guys I had kept around in my matches folder but never communicated with. He resembled David Cross (google image now.) aka Tobias from Arrested Development. His nudging and boring profile warranted a closed match, just because I do not appreciate being jostled by eHarmz or electronically by Matthew to communicate with him. THEN I received an ice breaker subsequent to closing him (is this allowed??) saying "I'd love to chat!!" Obviously, he then sent me his Final Message, the ever-so-creepy, "I really felt we had potential. I'd like you to reconsider."

xoxo,

$L 4

$ingle lady #6: Why no photos, boys?

The communication block has finally been lifted: three people are now responding back and forth with me (finally) and I feel less like an online dating pariah. I'm even e-mailing with someone, and although he did not capitalize my name in his first correspondence, I'll let it slide because he is a lawyer and can probably take me somewhere nice-ish for dinner. (BTW, these lawyer-types seem to be very prevalent on eH, I think we're all communicating with some.)

My newest eH pet peeve is that some (lots of) boys don't provide photos. I noticed it a bit in the beginning, but now eHarmony is consistently sending matches without photographs (even though I'm pretty sure I told it not to). I don't so much understand whether this means they are so attractive they feel they want people to know them for the "right reasons," or whether they are so unattractive they fear no one would communicate with them if they have they provide photographic evidence. Either way, I'm 1000 times less likely to chat you with no pics, so this dumb behavior should stop. If you're going to pay the money, why wouldn't you at least play the game?

I'm also getting worried that my matches seem to be coming from farther and farther away. This weekend I got matches from places such as Lorton; Rockville, Silver Spring, Clark, and other far off lands. This is depressing as I'm only interested in meeting a metro-accessible boy toy, preferably on the orange line. Bummer.

I need at least 35 pictures of each boy before making dating decisions, and he should maybe also be my neighbor,
$L6

$ingle lady #2 meets adults

Last night I got to hang out with my BFF's sister and her husband. They are recently married and have an adorable house on the main line in PA. She cooked me salmon and veggies and served wine and real appetizers on a cheese tray that apparently I gave her for their wedding (go me!).

Conversation flows from work to wedding to fear of small children to...eHarmony! Let me tell you - the married peeps loooooved hearing about online dating. The husband was all "what happens first?...then what?...then what?...fascinating!!" I brought up some points during the convo that I was very proud of, and that I hadn't put into words until last night. Examples include:

All of the boys ask you the SAME multiple choice questions. And all are an attempt to find out if you are a) clingy, and b) are going to make them do crap they don't want to do. I am always always asked the following:

-Which would you rather do on a Saturday night: Sporting event, ballet, dance club, stay home
-If I brought you to a party, would you: stay by my side, sit in the corner, strike out and make friends?
-Which of the following would you rather date: someone super busy, sometimes busy, always available
-How much personal space do you require: none, one night a week, equal together and alone time

Match after match, I always get these questions. Sometimes I just write in my own answer to the last question and say that I require mandatory hip-connection surgery after two dates. Like, relax, I'll leave you alone.

My next epiphany was the following analogy: Men on eHarmony are like clothes that are on sale. You know when you go to the department store, and like, EVERYTHING from BCBG is marked down 70% and an extra 30%? And you pull every adorable top and sexy dress just thinking OMG I'm going to buy so much awesome shit and it's all going to be totally free!!

And then you proceed to the dressing room and the first dress doesn't fit quite right...and the second is nice but kind of confused and where on Earth could you wear it? and the third top couldn't cover your boobs if your life depended on it...and then you realize - there's a reason this crap is on sale. No one bought it when it was a new arrival. It sadly sat on the rack and now they just want you to take it away to make room for the Spring collection. Wah. And you walk out with nothing.

Well, I think that maybe there is a reason these guys are on eH. Maybe they look cute on the hanger, or seem like a great deal. And I'm sure there is that one great guy if you are really diligent and scour the racks. But, something is just a tad off about them, and that is the reason they have yet to be purchased.

$ingle Lady #1: Pleather and $peed Dating

ADD is starting to kick in. I’m coming into the home stretch of my membership and eHarmz is starting to bore me. Today I went in and rapid fire closed 25 not-meant-to-bes, though I still refuse to use “I’m pursuing another relationship on eHarmony” as my Closing reason. I did initiate conversation with a guy named Kobe, 1) because that should be my name, and 2) because he’s wearing what appears to be a pleather jacket in his photo, and also with two or three other mehs.

In an effort to spice things up, a few friends and I are trying out the $peed dating cycle – what may become the evolution of online dating. Sadly, there’s an age requirement of 25, so we all had to lie. Then, we panicked because we’re concerned they’re going to check IDs. Fortunately, I still have my fake procured from a sketch basement bong/ID "store" in Toronto when I was 18, so I put in my birthday in the year 1982 (do the math), and requested my sister bring it to me from its hiding place in my childhood bedroom. Must relearn my zip code and re-Google my astrological sign in case the bouncer quizzes me. Stay tuned for three weeks, but in the meantime, check out:

http://www.hurrydate.com/index.cfm?fuseAction=frontEvents.eventDetails&id=9662&yourSex=f&partnerSex=m

Lawyerboy confirmed our impending Date #4 last night. He gets a huge thumbs up from every dood I work with since he’s taking me to Dave and Buster$ for a night of competitive arcade gaming. I told him I’m crafting my strategy. He told me he’s on to my “look pretty to distract him” move so don’t bother. [Insert awwwww here]. Sarah, book your tickets now and start practicing!

xo,
$L#1

$ingle lady #6 - Communication Fail

I will die if I allow myself to continue wondering why all of my matches have stalled out in various stages of communication. It's been a couple days since I've "sent my must haves and can't stands" or answered some open-ended (and extremely boring, btw) questions from a match.

Why are all my matches stalling at this stage? Is it because my questions are too wonky, or because my answers were overeager? Was I too excited when I told them that although it's cliche, I just love to travel, and that I think "rollerblading on the beach" sounds impossible to do? Is it because I answered Hilarious Michael after I had had a few beers on Friday night and scared him off? (Don't worry, I was supervised.)

Either way, both the semi-decent looking matches and the weird ones I just figured I would humor are all giving me the silent treatment. My "communicating" page has eight people listed as "waiting for response." I'm getting sad. This springlike weather makes me want to go drink on a patio with some new handsome stranger, and it's just not happening.

I know I need to calm down. The other $ingle ladiez had to wait a while before getting a great match and even getting a solid date. I'm just impatient. I want to send sassy and witty e-mails with strangers to make myself feel loved. Wah.

Somebody talk to me, please!,
$L6

P.S. I too got paired $L2's friends' roommate.
P.P.S. I too was once romantically involved with him.
P.P.P.S. YIKES!

$ingle lady #4: just OK

So after much planning, replanning and scheduling and rescheduling the date with Leo finally went down last night. I wasn't really in the date-y mood but I put on a good face and went. Also I was nervous? I didn't even really start contemplating the fact that I was going on a "first date" with someone I didn't know until about 15 minutes before I was supposed to meet him. In the past when embarking on a first date, I always knew the person or atleast hung out with them prior to the first date. It had helped that we had spoken via gchat beforehand but still, I didn't want to be "that awkward eHarmz date in Panera" situation and have the people and bartenders judging me.

So I've decided to provide a rundown of the date, in the fashion of the NYMag Gossip Girl blog:

The Good....

- We had plenty to talk about. Plus 5. I hate awkward silences. Resulting in a 3 hour long date, somewhat promising.

- We come from similar families/backgrounds. Plus 3. I don't want to be dealing with any crazy in-laws or a big fat greek wedding situation.

- We had similar college experiences. Plus 5. Thus ensued an extensive discussion about frats/sororities, raging and study abroad.

- We have similar tastes in music and other interests/activities. Plus 8, since my musical tastes are eclectic and I enjoy when someone can appreciate it.

The Not So Good....

- Slampiece photo was 88% accurate. Minus 1, because he probably just picked his best photos for eHarmz, as we all guilty of this. Not to mention I'm sure I was looking less than desirable after the way work has been going.

- He used the term "little boy's room" when indicating that he was going to the bathroom. Minus 50, since I hate this phrase. But since it was the first date I won't harp on it too much.

- He is a YANKEES fan. Minus 100000000000000. For anyone born and raised in Boston, this is an immediate deal breaker. But I cannot close him on eHarmz citing the reason as being, "you are a yankees fan and thus dead to me. you basically root for the devil of baseball."

- Already brought up past relationships. Minus 5, since this is kind of strange to start getting into on your first date. That's more of a conversation to have (or not) when you are already in a committed relationship.

- He used some other quirky comments that made me sort of judge him as a toolbag. Minus 8, because it made sort of uncomfortable. However per discussion with $L1, she encouraged me to give it another date to really put that label on him.

Overall I would give the date a B. It wasn't a "fireworks, out of the park, we really have a spark here" date. But it wasn't also a "I have to fake an emergency call to get out of here" date either. He has friends in town the rest of the week/weekend, so potential second date will not occur until next week at the earliest. $L1 encouraged me to give it another shot and go out with him again, which I think I will do, so I can justify my ROI (i love accounting terms). Also because I think eHarmz forgot that I was a registered member and has not provided me any new matches since this weekend.

I am also beginning to get frustrated that almost all of my new matches have their pictures hidden! I got curious the other day and decided to see what happened when I requested their photo. Now, I just assumed that it was similar to friending someone on facebook. You click on the "request this person at a friend button" and then facebook asks you AGAIN are you sure you want to request? I applied this same logic to requesting a photo. Boy was I wrong. When you click on "request photo" the request immediately goes through! I wasn't even sure if I liked the profile of the guy. But now I have a request for eHarmz email communication all because I "photo nudged" him. If I had known this I would never have requested it. Embarrassing.

$ingle lady #2 and the work trip

Enter the work trip and the out-of-town $ingle lady. How is she supposed to cultivate and nurture a budding eHarmony romance when she is MIA for 9 days? It is $ingle lady #2's eternal struggle: "absence makes the heart grow fonder" VS. "out of sight, out of mind." It's a delicate balance really. I contend that after only 1-2 dates, you will know if this is a person you care to see again. But if you don't see them for Date #3 after 2 weeks, this romance can easily fizzle out. You need time to ignite the spark so that the flame, dull as it may be, can continue burning despite a 9-day hiatus.

So, yeah, I'm out of town for work. BUT I'm also staying with my wonderful friend and we are having a lesbian-good-time. AND this weekend I have a bridal shower and bachelorette party. So if the CC flame fizzles, I'll get over it. After all, he's not packing me delicious lunches including greek yogurt and Yodels (apparently they are called Swiss Rolls when you aren't from NJ) or cooking me salmon with butternut squash for dinner...my lovely host is doing these things.

However since CC did take me to two dinners (and pay for me), I told him that I owed him a delicious dinner. He said he would hold me to it, so we'll see. I hope I get the opportunity to play Giada and prance around in my apron...maybe I'll even make $L#6's fifth date chicken!

Loving my temporary window office,
$L#2

$ingle Lady #1 and the lost art of the phone call

Real Doods use phones. Not just for texting and bbming, but for what God and Alexander Graham Bell intended. Admittedly, as a $ingle Lady of the "Millenials" generation, I'm 1000% behind texting because:

1) I live in NYC. It's loud, literally everywhere. I sometimes can't hear even in my apartment, particularly at 3 am on garbage night(s).

2) You can't winky face in a phone call. Hard as I try...

3) I keep odd hours, since I'm really a vampire. I don't really sleep a lot so it's likely that my free phone time is between 10 pm and 1 am, and 6 am and 8 am...and only if you're willing to chat while I'm on the treadmill or have DVR on silent in the background.

However, because of the onslaught of texting, the phone call, and especially the voicemail, has become a lost art. In general, I'm a very skilled voicemail leaver. Most of my workday is spent on the phone, receiving and leaving voicemails for clients and sales reps. It's a source of pride.

Enter Monday night, with a missed call from lawyerboy. Perfectly orchestrated vm asking about my day, giving breezy details on his, and requesting date #4. Well balanced between actual conversation starters and actionable plan making, I must admit, I was impressed, but then I remembered that he's a real grown up so of course he knows how to leave a good voicemail. Cell phones weren't even invented yet in his impressionable youth when one learns etiquette. Of course, as the mature adult I am, I responded via text (defense: still at the office) that I was just leaving and needed to go work out and my phone was dying (truth and truth), but that I would call him Tuesday. Then, got home, realized the gym was a crazy idea, charged my phone, and decided I didn't want to make a liar out of myself (because he would definitely remember that I said I was going to work out and ask me how it went, and anyone who knows me knows I'm a TERRIBLE liar). So I called and left definitely the worst voicemail of my entire life. For some reason, I was totally flustered and really just stammered out three sentences and hung up.

Now I'm in a pickle (ooo this is a lonnnng post today!). I talked out of both sides of my mouth and it came back to bite me in the a$$. I said I'd call him tomorrow (in writing! and he's a lawyer!) but then called that night. Was I still on the hook to call the next day? In the holy words of the $ingle Ladies goddess, Blair Waldorf, "Everybody needs to play games." (PS. thank goodness GG is back!!) Therefore, I can't make two unanswered reachouts of communication. Ugh.

Editor's Note: This was a two-day entry. Meanwhile, last night, he did call. We chatted (I even paused 16 & Pregnant instead of just putting it on mute...a courtesy I don't always even extend to my parents [sorry Mom]) and made dinner plans for Sunday. I even admitted that I had a good day and my reward was a dinner of Spaghettios and Butterfinger ice cream. He's pumped that he's now in possession of the knowledge that I'm a cheap date.

xo,
$L#1

$L#6 hates traffic and blizzards and girlfriends

OK, I'll admit it. I was maybe sorta a little bit trying to trick karma by signing up for the dating Web site thingie.

My life follows a few rules:

1. If I buy something, it will immediately go on sale. [Also in this category: If I change lanes on the highway, the other will go faster; If I go one way to avoid traffic, the other route will spontaneously burst into flames or something; If I set my alarm really early to get up and be productive, I'll forget to turn it on.]
2. If I plan a trip somewhere fun, it will blizzard in departure location and get canceled. [Or, If I go to Miami, it will rain and be cloudy for the only five days of the year it is ever rainy and cloudy there.]
3. If I like you, you have a girlfriend.
4. If you like me, you have a girlfriend.
5. If I get invited to do something fun, there is a 100% chance that I will also get invited to do something else fun on that same day. And I won't be able to go. And I also won't have anything else on my calendar, at all, for the preceding and subsequent six months.

I was hoping to add my namesake's number 6 to this list: If I sign up for online dating, I will meet the man of my dreams in a bar and therefore have wasted my hard-earned money.

Well, no such luck in this first weekend; I succeeded only in again falling in love with someone who has a girlfriend. Shocker!

My eHarmz updates: I went on a closing spree and closed all the matches I knew I wouldn't be interested in and was too lazy to continue pleasantries with. Someone closed me and I was offended even though he had some dealbreakers in his profile because like, wtf? I am playing question game with a few people but still think eHarmony is holding out on some sweet matches for me that it is saving for a rainy day. I am being actively ignored by people that $L2 has already dated and I'm getting impatient.

Ever the optimist, there's still plenty of time,
$L6

$ingle Lady #4 also thinks boys are weird

I'm going to join $L 2 in her boy venting session since I encountered a similar confusing boy situation this weekend myself. And I definitely am in agreement that they are WEIRD.

So before I joined this whole eHarmz experiment, we shall say that I was hanging out with this boy. Let's nickname him W. Incidentally we went to the same college, but never really crossed paths and met this fall through a friend. It was nothing serious, but he did take me out and I was under the assumption that there was something going on and there was some form of feelings involved. We talked all the time and on a daily basis. Things were going fine until I went to Canada about a month ago for work, then things started to get weird.

So I left for Canada on a Sunday, and spoke with him on Monday morning before work. Then Monday night I waited around for the usual bbm to come in. It never came. This may seem like an overreaction to some people, but for the amount of time we spent talking and the frequency of it, this was definitely unusual. So I tried to play it cool and not be the crazy-girl and so I waited on Tuesday for the bbm to come. It never came. So for the rest of the week I didn't hear from him and was racking my brain trying to figure out what had changed in the span of 12 hours on Monday when I had last talked to him. So then the ignoring game continued for the next couple of WEEKS. Part of me was saying to forget about it, since I am usually not one to chase after a boy. But another part of me really liked him and wanted to find out why I was being ignored.

So I decided to be bold and write him an email (since I had deleted his number out of my phone, my thumbs do crazy things when I've been drinking), after much consultation with other $ingle ladies. Good thing I never got around to writing the email because he ended up reaching out to me. The conversation went something like this:

W: So you've been MIA lately
$L4: uh, likewise
W: What?? No way

CLEARLY we haven't spoken in a number of weeks, and this tells me that he wasn't exactly racking his brain trying to figure out why this was happening (unlike someone else). So then following the reunion conversation we exchanged some messages back and forth but something was noticeably off. Things just were not the way they used to be. I tried to resume our usual bbm convos, but he was not very talkative and I felt like I was bothering him. This is usually when I back off, since its clear man code that he's just not interested. So this weekend I was supposed to go to this St. Patrick's event with the friend who initially introduced us, figuring that W would be there as well. We had also talked about it earlier in the week, but more in the context that he was not including me in his plans.

So Saturday rolls around and we start formulating plans about what time we are going. Again, he was being very vague and not talkative. The friend also was not helpful and wasn't sure when they were heading over. In the end I never ended up hearing from either of them and just wrote it off as a lost cause. Luckily I had other things to keep this $ingle lady busy, so it wasn't completely a waste of a day. But then W had the nerve, at around 7pm, to bbm me asking me if I was at the event. SERIOUSLY? I am not one to travel as a one-woman wolfpack, so its not like I was going to show up to this event, completely alone, and wander around trying to find them. I replied: '? I never heard from you guys?', to which he said "pfff please." This just set me off, the crazy girl was unfortunately coming out at this point. So I responded 'what was I supposed to do' and also a snide 'whatever, I can take a hint.' Playing the dumb boy card he just responded with a 'what?' and that was the end of communication.

I am still at a loss for what changed the way he was acting towards me and usually I wouldn't care but I was really starting to like W a lot, so it just bums me out that I don't know. I am trying to distract myself with the prospect of Leo in hopes that he is actually a promising match. I didn't hear from him since I canceled on him, so I was proactive and sent him a text trying to reschedule for this week. He said I was cute haha. But we are trying to make this long awaited date happen this week. At this point I should probably be cautious and not mention which day it is in case I need to flake on him for some reason.

Sidenote, the new matches I am being provided (all 3 of them) are nothing promising. I feel too creepy requesting their picture, but there has to be a reason why I am requesting it in the first place: one word, woof. If you don't think you are attractive in your photo, why try to hide it and lie to your matches. I received another match with a foreign/undecipherable language in it. I've received several invites to direct eH email and I'm ok with this, just as long as you don't have a creepy opening line. Both matches have failed MISERABLY on this front. See below:

Hi,
You have a great smile.

I'm looking to meet someone who can make me laugh. That's the one thing I enjoy more than anything ;)

I'm independent and free. I love learning and traveling. Recently I started taking helicopter pilot training just because I've never been in a helicopter before .

Sometimes I wake up and Just jump on a plane to somewhere I've never been just to see what happens.

This summer i'm making time to really enjoy myself. Working less and spending more time with the people that are important to me.

If you want to chat, you know where to find me.