At the encouragement of my friends to strive for a healthy ROI from my eharmony experience, I decided to meet one of the other early eharmony contenders for drinks this week. In the back of my mind, I kept thinking that eharmony is like prom dress shopping ---- even when you find one you really like, you should continue trying on other dresses just to be sure. You'll likely buy the first one you tried on, but still.
I met the new guy at a bar in a mall, and immediately noticed some height fudging on his end---I'm short, was in flats, and we were about the same height. Also, he stuck his hand out, and I went in for the awkward hug, and it started things off feeling kind of weird.
We each ordered two drinks, and I quickly learned he doesn't like sports or watch too much TV. Um, he doesn't like sports. [Incidentally, I asked my other IMF last night what he thought of boys who don't like sportst. His response: "Gay."] I also learned that he likes Bud Light Wheat and enjoys ordering edamame in bars (which he did at 10:30 p.m.). All in all, I won't give away too many dirty details in order to protect the innocent, but it was just bland. I thought the date was over, but returned from the bathroom to see he was dining on beans, and then we lasted another hour or so before I politely declined his offer for a ride home and walked back from the mall. I got no follow up yesterday so I can imagine he felt the same way I did.
On paper, this should have worked, because he has a lot of qualities I usually look for. In reality it was as bland as unsalted pretzels and as fulfilling as a single cube of fat-free cheese. Halfway through, I texted my other IMF, so I think that's all the signs I need.
Meanwhile, last night was my 5th date with IMF, and I fittingly made my 5th date chicken. He raved, enjoyed, cleaned his plate, thanked me 50 times, and ate with exceptional table manners (swoon!). He also fawned over my cheesecake appropriately and brought me beer. Clearly, this is working.
Never order edamame at a bar,
$ "So I'm sitting at the $ingles table at this wedding on $aturday but I'm maybe not so $ingle?" L6
Thursday, April 15, 2010
Wednesday, April 14, 2010
$ingle Lady #1: Clarifying Point...
Clarifying point due to questions....Lawyerboy is not "off the table" as in "out of my life." He's just off limits to blog about.
xo,
$L#1
xo,
$L#1
Tuesday, April 13, 2010
$ingle Lady #1: I'm back!!!
Don't worry loyal readers, I won't leave you out in the cold just yet.
With IMF solidly off the table, my blogging experience has to be limited to the other $ketchy things that happen in my life. Let's begin with $peed Dating!
So long ago and far away, on the eve of April Fools, I journey to a land called Murray Hill with some $keptical co-workers and friends to try our hand at $peed Dating. Much like internet dating, it's a phenomenon nation-wide that is largely misunderstood, and I wish I could say, mis-hated-on. Unfortunately, every stereotype you can imagine for $peed daters is totally true. It was really a bunch of misfits who had to awkwardly sit opposite each other and talk about the same thing every 4 minutes for 2 hours. True to form, there were wayyy more women than men (which prompted them to offer me a free future session to compensate...score!), the men were wayyy older and woofer than men in the Real World, and the air reeked of desperation. Sure, we were there too...label us as you will, but of the 10ish men I "dated" that night, zero came in as a "yes."
The format is simple. Women sit in one place all night. This is key for the waitress to be able to find you to constantly refill your bevvie. Men switch every 4 minutes. We were an intimidating bunch, 5 of us in a row, and the men braved it nicely. In the span of those 4 minutes my first "date" mentioned the words "murder," "pedophile," and "drug dealer." Friend J (his next...victim?) immediately circled "N" (no interest) before he even got a chance to open his mouth to her. Date #3 high-fived me 4 times in 4 minutes. Excellent ratio, and almost scored him a "Y" (as in...yes, I'd like to pursue you further). Date #7 and I had the makings of a nasty fight about the Dove Self-Esteem Fund until the whistle blew and saved us (he was a Victoria's Secret graphic designer...I obviously felt the need to defend Real women everywhere). N, N, N, N, N, N, you get the picture. Particularly flattering was a foreign gentleman who spoke no English and required just a polite head-nod to encourage him to continue talking in gibberish for the entire 4 minutes. The only line I caught was as he sat down, he looked me up and down and mumbled "Yes, definitely Yes." Eww.
What a drag, but fortunately the pre-$peed dating shots kicked in early and we stayed to hang out as a group for a bit. Still no date potential but it was better than the awkward between-whistle made up conversation we'd been having. After several more drinks at our own private "after party" across the street, I convinced IMF to meet me for a late night drink at a different bar where I immediately confessed where I'd been in an effort to make him a little jealous.
Curiosity killed my cat and I actually checked out my profile the next day. I'm flattered to report that 5 dudes "Yes-ed" me to the next round (including the creepy foreign man! And my high-fiver!!). Also confirmed what I already knew...that they were all older than the "max age limit" which thereby totally justified that we had to lie and age ourselves up to be able to go.
Overall $peed Dating as a potential matchmaking opportunity? Not a chance. You're better off sidling up to that $exy $tranger on the Metro...
xo,
$L#1
With IMF solidly off the table, my blogging experience has to be limited to the other $ketchy things that happen in my life. Let's begin with $peed Dating!
So long ago and far away, on the eve of April Fools, I journey to a land called Murray Hill with some $keptical co-workers and friends to try our hand at $peed Dating. Much like internet dating, it's a phenomenon nation-wide that is largely misunderstood, and I wish I could say, mis-hated-on. Unfortunately, every stereotype you can imagine for $peed daters is totally true. It was really a bunch of misfits who had to awkwardly sit opposite each other and talk about the same thing every 4 minutes for 2 hours. True to form, there were wayyy more women than men (which prompted them to offer me a free future session to compensate...score!), the men were wayyy older and woofer than men in the Real World, and the air reeked of desperation. Sure, we were there too...label us as you will, but of the 10ish men I "dated" that night, zero came in as a "yes."
The format is simple. Women sit in one place all night. This is key for the waitress to be able to find you to constantly refill your bevvie. Men switch every 4 minutes. We were an intimidating bunch, 5 of us in a row, and the men braved it nicely. In the span of those 4 minutes my first "date" mentioned the words "murder," "pedophile," and "drug dealer." Friend J (his next...victim?) immediately circled "N" (no interest) before he even got a chance to open his mouth to her. Date #3 high-fived me 4 times in 4 minutes. Excellent ratio, and almost scored him a "Y" (as in...yes, I'd like to pursue you further). Date #7 and I had the makings of a nasty fight about the Dove Self-Esteem Fund until the whistle blew and saved us (he was a Victoria's Secret graphic designer...I obviously felt the need to defend Real women everywhere). N, N, N, N, N, N, you get the picture. Particularly flattering was a foreign gentleman who spoke no English and required just a polite head-nod to encourage him to continue talking in gibberish for the entire 4 minutes. The only line I caught was as he sat down, he looked me up and down and mumbled "Yes, definitely Yes." Eww.
What a drag, but fortunately the pre-$peed dating shots kicked in early and we stayed to hang out as a group for a bit. Still no date potential but it was better than the awkward between-whistle made up conversation we'd been having. After several more drinks at our own private "after party" across the street, I convinced IMF to meet me for a late night drink at a different bar where I immediately confessed where I'd been in an effort to make him a little jealous.
Curiosity killed my cat and I actually checked out my profile the next day. I'm flattered to report that 5 dudes "Yes-ed" me to the next round (including the creepy foreign man! And my high-fiver!!). Also confirmed what I already knew...that they were all older than the "max age limit" which thereby totally justified that we had to lie and age ourselves up to be able to go.
Overall $peed Dating as a potential matchmaking opportunity? Not a chance. You're better off sidling up to that $exy $tranger on the Metro...
xo,
$L#1
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