I'm going to defend all the doods who have sent lame Final Messages to all the $ingle Ladies. I tried for the first time today to send one. I assumed it was like an email - free form communication, where I could rationally put forth my argument for why we should continue to pursue our budding computer relationship. Nope. Instead, you get 5 choices from which to select why you'd like them to reconsider, all sounding more desperate than the last.
"I have now posted my photo and when it is approved it will be available to you." (Translation: I've finally found a Google Image model that looks like a super hot version of me so you'll choose to meet me, and then can't be too pissed when my real face shows up instead)
"I have now completed all my Match Profile questions." (Translation: So you can know the answer to your burning question - what was the last book I read)
"Good luck with you search." (The safest, least desperate sounding, but really? what's the point.)
"I really felt we had potential. I'd like you to reconsider." (Barf.)
"I think if we met, you might have different feelings about who I am." (Please refer to $L#4's post below to see how ALL WOMEN would feel about receiving this response).
Slammed between a rock and a hard place, I selected option 4, vommed in my mouth a little, and hit send. For a site who boasts strong communication between its members, the choices are quite limited!
xo,
$L#1
Saturday, February 20, 2010
$ingle Lady #4 - Welcome to eHarmony!
So I joined. And thank god I did because I found out I was inadvertently communicating with some horrific matches and also a surprise "slampiece"! (this seems to be the word of choice to describe an attractive male).
After another long week at work, I came home on Friday night to sushi, wine and eHarmz. Hopefully, this thing will pick up soon so I no longer have to detail my Friday night as such. I was excited to finally see some of these matches! And the gazillion emails I have received since free communication weekend ended from eHarmz did not help my curiosity. My list of matches had reached a high of 40 or so, and I managed to whittle them to about 17 that are acceptable after last night. eHarmz has a funny sense of humor, pairing me with a "musician" where the majority of his pictures included professional portraits of him posing with a musical instrument (i.e. flute, viola). Another was a goth type, with longer hair than me. Clearly I didn't make my preferences clear enough. Then there were just the ones with the boring profiles and the even more boring pictures. I am currently engaged in communication with 9 men (internet dating $lut).
On to the slampiece! I initially judged him, as his name is 'Leo.' All I could think was a guido-type gorilla juicehead from the Jersey Shore. I progressed through communication with him to eHarmony email without even realizing until I found his message to me last night, entitled "Stephanieee." Cute. His profile seemed relatively normal, lives in Southie (young professional crowd), 26, finance consultant, good answers to his questions, detailed but not too detailed. However, upon further review this was the guy who mentioned his zodiac sign, so we may need to overlook that. But his profile picture is niiiice. His other pictures support the hotness of the first, however he does include a photo with him and another girl. I've noticed that this is a common theme with some of my matches. Like, is it going to potentially make me jealous that you are posing with other girls? Is this going to make me want to contact you faster just so I can reach you before someone else? I think not. Leo's questions to me were the standard ones from eHarmz, but he asked the most important question of all: Why did you join eHarmony? but I was honest and answered "Frankly, my friends and I are doing this as an experiment and we are writing a blog." (No worries, I did not provide web address). He found my answer to be funny I guess? He also shares my hatred of answering these generic questions about yourself. He asked me the basic "what do you do for a job" "where do you live" type questions along with some other cute lines tagged in there. I returned the message this morning so we will see how this one goes!
I received my first "Final Message" Thursday evening from Fred, 35. I closed him due to my age limitation rules. Also, his profile was nothing to be desired. He cannot live with out desserts and his keyboard (musical). He also enjoys ballroom dancing. His picture was also VERY blurry, like it was zoomed in and cropped too many times. He mentions in his profile that if you wanted to see another picture of him to request it....no thanks. So I closed him Thursday. Around midnight, my BlackBerry went off and I saw that I had a gmail from eHarmz:
At some point in the past you decided to close your match, Fred. Fred has taken advantage of an opportunity to send you this message:
I think if we met, you might have different feelings about who I am. AGGRESSIVE! Who said anything about meeting?! Let alone communicating?! I was thoroughly creeped out and decided that my new approach to closing matches is to say that I am "pursuing another relationship." This will hopefully limit the number of 'Final Messages' I receive from suitors.
And now, a recap of the matches!
Cary
- Can't live without: food? I don't wanna starve
Timothy
- Additional information Timothy wanted you to know: I'm not the best looking guy, and I've never really had a true relationship, but my friends honestly tell me that I'm a good listener, fun to talk to, very down to earth, and will one day make some lucky girl extremely happy. I know that sounds cliche, but I hope my friends are right and maybe that girl will be the girl of my dreams.
- One thing that only Timothy's best friends know is: I'm extremely emotional for a guy. I don't wear my emotions on my sleeves but I am the type of guy that will almost be sobbing after watching Marley and Me or The Notebook, not to be cliche at all.
mrmongo (seriously this is your name?)
- Typically spends his leisure time: Going to the races. Riding sleds and quads and dirt bikes. Fighting Fires
Jason
- Additional information: If you are interested send me a message because i cannot see anyones pictures on the free trial Ghetto Harmony
- Occupation: Safety Specialist (WHAT is this?)
Patrick
- First thing people notice: That would have to be my sneakers because every time I meet someone new they're like, "Ooooh where did you get those?"
Michael
- 3 things thankful for:
· Realitive health (spelling? is this even a real word?)
· Friends and family cirlces (AGAIN the spelling)
· Athletic skill (Napoleon Dynamite?)
After another long week at work, I came home on Friday night to sushi, wine and eHarmz. Hopefully, this thing will pick up soon so I no longer have to detail my Friday night as such. I was excited to finally see some of these matches! And the gazillion emails I have received since free communication weekend ended from eHarmz did not help my curiosity. My list of matches had reached a high of 40 or so, and I managed to whittle them to about 17 that are acceptable after last night. eHarmz has a funny sense of humor, pairing me with a "musician" where the majority of his pictures included professional portraits of him posing with a musical instrument (i.e. flute, viola). Another was a goth type, with longer hair than me. Clearly I didn't make my preferences clear enough. Then there were just the ones with the boring profiles and the even more boring pictures. I am currently engaged in communication with 9 men (internet dating $lut).
On to the slampiece! I initially judged him, as his name is 'Leo.' All I could think was a guido-type gorilla juicehead from the Jersey Shore. I progressed through communication with him to eHarmony email without even realizing until I found his message to me last night, entitled "Stephanieee." Cute. His profile seemed relatively normal, lives in Southie (young professional crowd), 26, finance consultant, good answers to his questions, detailed but not too detailed. However, upon further review this was the guy who mentioned his zodiac sign, so we may need to overlook that. But his profile picture is niiiice. His other pictures support the hotness of the first, however he does include a photo with him and another girl. I've noticed that this is a common theme with some of my matches. Like, is it going to potentially make me jealous that you are posing with other girls? Is this going to make me want to contact you faster just so I can reach you before someone else? I think not. Leo's questions to me were the standard ones from eHarmz, but he asked the most important question of all: Why did you join eHarmony? but I was honest and answered "Frankly, my friends and I are doing this as an experiment and we are writing a blog." (No worries, I did not provide web address). He found my answer to be funny I guess? He also shares my hatred of answering these generic questions about yourself. He asked me the basic "what do you do for a job" "where do you live" type questions along with some other cute lines tagged in there. I returned the message this morning so we will see how this one goes!
I received my first "Final Message" Thursday evening from Fred, 35. I closed him due to my age limitation rules. Also, his profile was nothing to be desired. He cannot live with out desserts and his keyboard (musical). He also enjoys ballroom dancing. His picture was also VERY blurry, like it was zoomed in and cropped too many times. He mentions in his profile that if you wanted to see another picture of him to request it....no thanks. So I closed him Thursday. Around midnight, my BlackBerry went off and I saw that I had a gmail from eHarmz:
At some point in the past you decided to close your match, Fred. Fred has taken advantage of an opportunity to send you this message:
I think if we met, you might have different feelings about who I am. AGGRESSIVE! Who said anything about meeting?! Let alone communicating?! I was thoroughly creeped out and decided that my new approach to closing matches is to say that I am "pursuing another relationship." This will hopefully limit the number of 'Final Messages' I receive from suitors.
And now, a recap of the matches!
Cary
- Can't live without: food? I don't wanna starve
Timothy
- Additional information Timothy wanted you to know: I'm not the best looking guy, and I've never really had a true relationship, but my friends honestly tell me that I'm a good listener, fun to talk to, very down to earth, and will one day make some lucky girl extremely happy. I know that sounds cliche, but I hope my friends are right and maybe that girl will be the girl of my dreams.
- One thing that only Timothy's best friends know is: I'm extremely emotional for a guy. I don't wear my emotions on my sleeves but I am the type of guy that will almost be sobbing after watching Marley and Me or The Notebook, not to be cliche at all.
mrmongo (seriously this is your name?)
- Typically spends his leisure time: Going to the races. Riding sleds and quads and dirt bikes. Fighting Fires
Jason
- Additional information: If you are interested send me a message because i cannot see anyones pictures on the free trial Ghetto Harmony
- Occupation: Safety Specialist (WHAT is this?)
Patrick
- First thing people notice: That would have to be my sneakers because every time I meet someone new they're like, "Ooooh where did you get those?"
Michael
- 3 things thankful for:
· Realitive health (spelling? is this even a real word?)
· Friends and family cirlces (AGAIN the spelling)
· Athletic skill (Napoleon Dynamite?)
Friday, February 19, 2010
$ingle Lady #1 has found her perfect match on eHarmony...and he closed her
The first thing people notice about Scott is:
when they finally come to their senses after being blown away by my hurricane of beauty, people probably do a double take to see if my looks are for real. Eventually they will of course figure out that I am awesome.
The last book Scott read and enjoyed:
I am currentty pacing myself through the Lorax by Dr. Seuss. I am particularly fond of the brown barbaloots in their barbaloot suits.
He is most thankful for his enthusiasm.
He is wearing seersucker in not one, but three of his photos.
He lists his location as "City that Never Sleeps, New York."
Other than his lack of attention to detail (note: "I am currentty" instead of "currently" is not a typo on my part. It's a direct copy/paste), he sounds right up my alley. Because there's no such thing as female dignity on eHarmony, I'm going to go ahead and slap down my "Send Final Message" card and call him out on it.
Potential date plans with lawyer for Weds, although now I know better than to tell people that so shhh. I've also procured a real AOL email address from him with which to now communicate. After all this back and forth he'd better at least be interesting...
xo,
$L#1
when they finally come to their senses after being blown away by my hurricane of beauty, people probably do a double take to see if my looks are for real. Eventually they will of course figure out that I am awesome.
The last book Scott read and enjoyed:
I am currentty pacing myself through the Lorax by Dr. Seuss. I am particularly fond of the brown barbaloots in their barbaloot suits.
He is most thankful for his enthusiasm.
He is wearing seersucker in not one, but three of his photos.
He lists his location as "City that Never Sleeps, New York."
Other than his lack of attention to detail (note: "I am currentty" instead of "currently" is not a typo on my part. It's a direct copy/paste), he sounds right up my alley. Because there's no such thing as female dignity on eHarmony, I'm going to go ahead and slap down my "Send Final Message" card and call him out on it.
Potential date plans with lawyer for Weds, although now I know better than to tell people that so shhh. I've also procured a real AOL email address from him with which to now communicate. After all this back and forth he'd better at least be interesting...
xo,
$L#1
$ingle lady #2 is not adding you to her address book
eH is making me realize that I'm obtaining a lot of phone numbers. I don't really want to add all of you to my phone. For example, Ben. Now I have this floater, Ben, who clearly is not going to call me again. What a waste of an entry. So, I'm meeting up with area code 231 (aka Pete) tonight for a drink. Until things progress, that's all he is to me.
Speaking of phone numbers, I gave mine to a cute boy last weekend (non-eH), but have not heard back. I think my convo with L will suffice:
me: im excited to go out tonight
L: me too i need to meet some more gents, i was pretty successful last friday
me: i met this kid who A works with?
L: none of them called, but i talked to like 10
me: he was so cute and got my #
L: oh yeah? name?
me: but then i wouldnt shut up about triathalons
L: hhahahaa
me: so i think he decided not to call... i mean he was training for one
and i was like, oh let me be less self-absorbed and talk about his interests
L: hahaha
me: but then i just was like running triathalons blah blah blah
and the KICKER was that bc of said tri he wasn't drinking
i certainly was
L: hahahaha
Sooo yeah I'm still pretty bad at this. Tonight I'm going to be a good listener, I swear.
-le deux
Speaking of phone numbers, I gave mine to a cute boy last weekend (non-eH), but have not heard back. I think my convo with L will suffice:
me: im excited to go out tonight
L: me too i need to meet some more gents, i was pretty successful last friday
me: i met this kid who A works with?
L: none of them called, but i talked to like 10
me: he was so cute and got my #
L: oh yeah? name?
me: but then i wouldnt shut up about triathalons
L: hhahahaa
me: so i think he decided not to call... i mean he was training for one
and i was like, oh let me be less self-absorbed and talk about his interests
L: hahaha
me: but then i just was like running triathalons blah blah blah
and the KICKER was that bc of said tri he wasn't drinking
i certainly was
L: hahahaha
Sooo yeah I'm still pretty bad at this. Tonight I'm going to be a good listener, I swear.
-le deux
Thursday, February 18, 2010
$ingle lady #2 debates subjects vs. direct objects, and existentialism?
Okay, so it's been brought to my attention that my opinion on picture captions is not correct. I am willing to hear others' opinions. Crispy Chicken Deluxe sent me an ELABORATE description of why "My sister and I" is indeed correct:
"As for your attempt at inciting a vicious grammatical debate, I think you're reaching there champ. Because I was responsible for the creation of that photo, am I not thus the subject of all constructs that result from it? If that were not the case, then we would always be 'me's,' due to the fact that we would be considered direct objects reliant upon our parents and their creation of us. Now we're entering into humanism and existentialism [$L#2]--dangerous territory."
Then a $ingled00d hopeful started a similar argument (in my defense he misspells sentence twice...):
D: fyi my sister and i - is correct
"As for your attempt at inciting a vicious grammatical debate, I think you're reaching there champ. Because I was responsible for the creation of that photo, am I not thus the subject of all constructs that result from it? If that were not the case, then we would always be 'me's,' due to the fact that we would be considered direct objects reliant upon our parents and their creation of us. Now we're entering into humanism and existentialism [$L#2]--dangerous territory."
Then a $ingled00d hopeful started a similar argument (in my defense he misspells sentence twice...):
D: fyi my sister and i - is correct
me: oh he sent me some long explanation of that but i still disagree
D: its pretty simple, if you were to finish that sentance it would be something like: my sister and i are here...me does not make sense
me: is the label the subject? i dont think of it that way
D: well its not a full sentance so its hard to argue about there being a true grammatical mistake there
me: yeah, i think you are right about that
D: i know I'm right
me: bc it could be "here is a picture of d, k and me"
The important part of this post is that Crisp was not put off by my argument, so he gets another point.
What position do my extremely grammatical friends (e.g. www.lifeneedsedits.com) hold on this debate?
<3 SL#2
The important part of this post is that Crisp was not put off by my argument, so he gets another point.
What position do my extremely grammatical friends (e.g. www.lifeneedsedits.com) hold on this debate?
<3 SL#2
$L#4 has gone MIA
Apologies for the lack of posts this week, work has been taking over my life.
So free communication ended Monday evening. Similar to $L5, I made sure to send all communications/respond to questions in order to maximize and make the most of this free communication.
I reached eHarmz email status with Matt, but then immediately he aggressively threw out his FULL NAME, SCREEN NAME (who uses AIM anymore?), and told me to request his friendship on facebook. WHOA. Perhaps another eager beaver like Wesley? Anyways, I replied very cooly that I don't really use AIM and that he conveniently managed to privatize his search settings on facebook like everyone else (obviously providing me with your last name gives me free reign to attempt to stalk you on facebook). However, I quickly realized that this match was clever, so once I told him I couldn't find him on FB, he suggested I give him my name so he could friend me. Sneak attack. Mind you, this all happened within a matter of minutes. He must have been really desperate, because before I could respond again he threw out his PHONE NUMBER in another message. After this I was beyond overwhelmed. And conveniently free communication ended that night, so he will just have to be left hanging.
I have subseuqently received the nagging emails from eHarmz, "Find out if Jon is the right match for you!" I just actually received SIX separate emails from eHarmz alone in the last 10 minutes introducing me to new matches, trying to entice me to sign up. I really think I eventually will sign up, I left free communication feeling unfulfilled and not really getting anything out of it. So I'm officially going to give it a go (tomorrow is pay day) and pay the $120 to see what happens. They must really want to sign me up, the newest matches as of this morning are really scraping the bottom of the barrel, with matche ranging from 21 (my BROTHER's age) to 35 (NO).
More to come this weekend after I am officially a signed-on member of eHarmz!
xo,
$L 4
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
Reason eHarmz is Fantastic...
This is the ad I was served today. Gotta love Jazzercise making a comeback. I've been advised by my lawyer, who will be played by a dark-haired George Clooney in my Life Movie, to change names to protect the innocent. Or guilty. Whichever. Thoughts?
$ingle lady #5 is out of commission for the next week
So I haven't paid my eHarm dues but can still see new matches, brief summaries of my suitors and receive communication requests. It has been 3 days since I have had this tease of a version of eH. I'll admit, part of me wants to pay, see some faces, and continue finding my soul mate.
So here is my status: Monday night was my last chance to communicate. I quickly responded to all open communications I had with the fellas. I sent Teen Wolf my must haves/cant stands. I went over the remaining matches that had not requested communication. Out of the 10 or so, I chose one I was going to proactively send an icebreaker too. (Call me old fashion, but I wait for the boys to seek me). My choice was Billy a 26 year old MED student. Mom and Dad always wanted me to marry a doctor!!! He hasn't responded yet :( On Monday, I received communication requests along with responses from previous matches. AARON decided he wanted to accelerate things and go straight to e-mailing. I'm weary since I have no idea what he looks like (i'm shallow. sue me.) Tuesday morning, at 7:15 am Teen Wolf sent me his must haves/ can't stands. BUT ALAS, do to my unpaid status, I couldn't see his responses. Wednesday, I got another round of matches... A couple Jims... automatic close, and some others...
So IDK, I'm getting kind of bored with eH and am STILL pondering officially signing up. I am developing a level 3 crush on my work buddy. (Level 3 is you smile when you see them and want to know more little facts about him. It isn't a hardcore level 5 type crush because you don't start choosing cute outfits in the hopes you'd see him that day.) Today I learned WB (work buddy) is catholic ZING, and LOVES meat. As it is Ash Wednesday today, we Caths had to abstain from meat. WB gave himself a pat on the back for not having meat today since he hearts it. I'm not sure if my crush is real though. Since my work environment is biz profesh, he has to wear a suit. This automatically makes him really cute. I also am on the fence about joining due to this pressing responsibility of studying like WHOA for my upcoming CPA exam. I'm taking it February 26 (WISH ME LUCK!). For those that know me, you know I'm a horrible test taker, it has taken me awhile to pass these SOB's and I'm pretty much set on taking/passing all 4 sections. Giving up just isn't an option. So I am focusing on that for the next week and half. Then I will resume my online dating/blogging. My BFF's seriously asked me if I wanted 3 months of eH as my birthday present. I laughed for a good 5 minutes because I seemed like this poor, no friends in the new city, charity case... Ty from Clueless if you will... (Is it too soon to mention Brittany Murphs?) I may take them up on this offer though. THen I can spend the $120 on this new J.Crew dress I have been eying for any future dates! As you can see this last paragraph is just my thoughts running 100 mph which is my cue to bounce and study!!!
Until February 27,
Senorita Cinco
So here is my status: Monday night was my last chance to communicate. I quickly responded to all open communications I had with the fellas. I sent Teen Wolf my must haves/cant stands. I went over the remaining matches that had not requested communication. Out of the 10 or so, I chose one I was going to proactively send an icebreaker too. (Call me old fashion, but I wait for the boys to seek me). My choice was Billy a 26 year old MED student. Mom and Dad always wanted me to marry a doctor!!! He hasn't responded yet :( On Monday, I received communication requests along with responses from previous matches. AARON decided he wanted to accelerate things and go straight to e-mailing. I'm weary since I have no idea what he looks like (i'm shallow. sue me.) Tuesday morning, at 7:15 am Teen Wolf sent me his must haves/ can't stands. BUT ALAS, do to my unpaid status, I couldn't see his responses. Wednesday, I got another round of matches... A couple Jims... automatic close, and some others...
So IDK, I'm getting kind of bored with eH and am STILL pondering officially signing up. I am developing a level 3 crush on my work buddy. (Level 3 is you smile when you see them and want to know more little facts about him. It isn't a hardcore level 5 type crush because you don't start choosing cute outfits in the hopes you'd see him that day.) Today I learned WB (work buddy) is catholic ZING, and LOVES meat. As it is Ash Wednesday today, we Caths had to abstain from meat. WB gave himself a pat on the back for not having meat today since he hearts it. I'm not sure if my crush is real though. Since my work environment is biz profesh, he has to wear a suit. This automatically makes him really cute. I also am on the fence about joining due to this pressing responsibility of studying like WHOA for my upcoming CPA exam. I'm taking it February 26 (WISH ME LUCK!). For those that know me, you know I'm a horrible test taker, it has taken me awhile to pass these SOB's and I'm pretty much set on taking/passing all 4 sections. Giving up just isn't an option. So I am focusing on that for the next week and half. Then I will resume my online dating/blogging. My BFF's seriously asked me if I wanted 3 months of eH as my birthday present. I laughed for a good 5 minutes because I seemed like this poor, no friends in the new city, charity case... Ty from Clueless if you will... (Is it too soon to mention Brittany Murphs?) I may take them up on this offer though. THen I can spend the $120 on this new J.Crew dress I have been eying for any future dates! As you can see this last paragraph is just my thoughts running 100 mph which is my cue to bounce and study!!!
Until February 27,
Senorita Cinco
$ingle lady #2 - the funny boys come out to play!
Great news, Cookie Crisp and I are in love. I'm not sure if he knows it yet, but I think he does. I mean, he ALSO hates grammar mistakes, citing a Harvard lawyer for a father and English major mother. THEN he goes on to give an example of a grammar error he received just yesterday that said "Just ask for Jim or I when you get there." Picturing his cute little face just steaming over this egregious error makes me smile. But, enter dilemma: Crispin has the SAME error in his eH profile, as he has captioned a picture with "My sister and I." What do I do? Let it go, or start a friendly grammar debate? I was really trying to change, after what happened with LB and my unfortunate inability to be nice, and with Ben and my unfortunate inability to shut up. I probably should have gone with a flirty response, NOT pointing out that he had committed the faux pas of which he just accused "I" of the "Jim or I" combo. But if you know me, you know I told him. If I didn't it would just stew inside of me and on our first meeting at Clydes I'd be all "Hi it's so nice to meet you, now I've been DYING to talk to you in person about those picture captions..."
Anyway, I'm pretty sure Waffle Crisp can handle it. We have exactly everything in common. He LOVES Bill O'Reilly - I love Bill O'Reilly! He wants to build a golf course - me too! He wants to own a professional sports team - what are the odds?! (Okay I just want to do that so they have to let me be a cheerleader, but whatever.)
Oh yes, the title of this post. Pete is funny too. Pete has asked me to go for a drink this weekend. Good work, Pete. An example of his funny-ness: "Enforcing the law, it is a real hoot. In my current position I pretty much do three things; 1) Wear a uniform that makes me look like I should be tried for war crimes at The Hague. 2) Wear mirrored aviator sunglasses, no matter the weather or the time of day. 3) Keep it real." Anyone who uses the term "hoot" is A-okay in my book.
L8r,
$L#2
PS hahah Wesley really gets around!
PPS I must share this quote from a real eHarmony profile in the "most thankful" section: "I am thankful for going to Penn State and getting a rally good education." Closed.
Anyway, I'm pretty sure Waffle Crisp can handle it. We have exactly everything in common. He LOVES Bill O'Reilly - I love Bill O'Reilly! He wants to build a golf course - me too! He wants to own a professional sports team - what are the odds?! (Okay I just want to do that so they have to let me be a cheerleader, but whatever.)
Oh yes, the title of this post. Pete is funny too. Pete has asked me to go for a drink this weekend. Good work, Pete. An example of his funny-ness: "Enforcing the law, it is a real hoot. In my current position I pretty much do three things; 1) Wear a uniform that makes me look like I should be tried for war crimes at The Hague. 2) Wear mirrored aviator sunglasses, no matter the weather or the time of day. 3) Keep it real." Anyone who uses the term "hoot" is A-okay in my book.
L8r,
$L#2
PS hahah Wesley really gets around!
PPS I must share this quote from a real eHarmony profile in the "most thankful" section: "I am thankful for going to Penn State and getting a rally good education." Closed.
$ingle Lady #1: Its a $mall world afterall...
Ahh Valentine's Day. The day of love, roses, chocolates, and romance. Naturally, its the worst enemy of a $ingle Lady, given her current status, and matchmaking sites like eHarmz prey on us while we're weak. Don't worry ladiez, I too was had by the promise of eternal love without even leaving my living room.
This Free Communication Weekend spawned a few new $ingle Ladies, both those who choose to share the experience with you here and those secret private people who want to give it a test run on their own.
Friend S (another nyc-ian) is one such person, who joined eHarmz and put in her profile that this was expiration dating so por favor no dilly dallying with those Must Haves. She called yesterday to say she had a date! Excitement turned to serious jealousy that it took me 10 weeks to even secure a real date and then couldn't even keep it. Then she said his name. Wesley. Sound familiar? It should, for he was also one of my early promised eternal loves. Ever the eager beaver (still) he had fast tracked her so quickly her head was spinning.
She didn't go. Not a match made in heaven, and now alas, Free Comm Weekend has come to a close. Coming soon: for more on the story, check out http://guidetobeingawesome.wordpress.com/
Update: in a moment of boldness I don't usually experience with men, I emailed Chris yesterday. Fear not, it wasn't a sobbing, whiny wwwhhhhyyyy??? (though seriously tempting)... He replied shortly after that he never got my confirmation email so he didn't think we were on for yesterday. Suspicious, but he has no reason to lie to me so I suppose I'll take up his offer for an early next week date.
xo,
$L#1
This Free Communication Weekend spawned a few new $ingle Ladies, both those who choose to share the experience with you here and those secret private people who want to give it a test run on their own.
Friend S (another nyc-ian) is one such person, who joined eHarmz and put in her profile that this was expiration dating so por favor no dilly dallying with those Must Haves. She called yesterday to say she had a date! Excitement turned to serious jealousy that it took me 10 weeks to even secure a real date and then couldn't even keep it. Then she said his name. Wesley. Sound familiar? It should, for he was also one of my early promised eternal loves. Ever the eager beaver (still) he had fast tracked her so quickly her head was spinning.
She didn't go. Not a match made in heaven, and now alas, Free Comm Weekend has come to a close. Coming soon: for more on the story, check out http://guidetobeingawesome.wordpress.com/
Update: in a moment of boldness I don't usually experience with men, I emailed Chris yesterday. Fear not, it wasn't a sobbing, whiny wwwhhhhyyyy??? (though seriously tempting)... He replied shortly after that he never got my confirmation email so he didn't think we were on for yesterday. Suspicious, but he has no reason to lie to me so I suppose I'll take up his offer for an early next week date.
xo,
$L#1
Monday, February 15, 2010
$ingle lady #2 wants to snack on Crispix
Crispin's answers to my questions require NO EXPLANATION. He is the winner:
What is your favorite Christmas movie and why?I'm very tempted to say Bad Santa, but I really don't think that counts as a Christmas movie. I do, however, have a soft spot for Home Alone, and an even softer spot for TBS who finds it in their hearts to miraculously play it every 3 weeks. I love it because: 1) I thought it was absolutely hysterical at the ripe age of 8 (or whenver it was released) and continue to use the line "Buzz your girlfriend... Woof" at every chance I can get 2) It trained me in case of the unlikely event that my house was besieged when I, too, was home alone 3) I am obsessed with my family (I love them to death) and think it's your typical feel-good story. You know, kid doesn't know just how good he's got it until it's almost too late? If my family vanished, I'd freak out
Tell me about a word that you have invented or changed the meaning of. Define and use in a sentence.I've tried to coin the phrase "Tater-totally" for months now (pr. tay-ter-tah-tuh-lee). It's a combination of tater tots and totally, and for some reason I thought it was completely genius. Nobody else does, though, and I've had a really tough time spreading the good word. Or bad word in this case. Ex. in sentence: "You're going to the mall today? Gosh, I'd tater-TOTally love to go with you!" My more successful words that I've created include Rapterrific (Raptor, Terrific), T-Rexcellent (I trust you can guess that one), Spandexcellent, and many more. I'm a bit of a wordsmith.
$wEEt DrEaMz!$L#2
Tell me about a word that you have invented or changed the meaning of. Define and use in a sentence.I've tried to coin the phrase "Tater-totally" for months now (pr. tay-ter-tah-tuh-lee). It's a combination of tater tots and totally, and for some reason I thought it was completely genius. Nobody else does, though, and I've had a really tough time spreading the good word. Or bad word in this case. Ex. in sentence: "You're going to the mall today? Gosh, I'd tater-TOTally love to go with you!" My more successful words that I've created include Rapterrific (Raptor, Terrific), T-Rexcellent (I trust you can guess that one), Spandexcellent, and many more. I'm a bit of a wordsmith.
$wEEt DrEaMz!$L#2
$ingle lady #2 on $erial daters
Ah Valentine's Day engagements. I won't hate on them, because I'm pretty sure every girl says she doesn't want to get engaged on Valentine's Day/Christmas/birthday/Arbor Day until it happens to her and then it was OMG SOO perfect!! A girl with whom the $ingle ladies went to college got engaged yesterday, and I'm pretty sure she's had no less than 7 boyfriends she was definitely going to marry. What's the deal with these girls, and how do they always hook a new one so fast? The concept of serial dating doesn't baffle me (it makes sense that you're used to spending lots of time with someone), but the concept of finding one man after another who wants to be in a super-serious relationship, does.
Also, to my dismay, posting my address on my eH profile did not result in any bouquets of roses coming my way. I promptly took it down anyway because I thought it might give any post-V-day suitors the wrong idea. I have a new match named CRISPIN. I was so ready to make fun of him and close him, but he seems kinda great. He's 6'4" with blue eyes and admits in his profile that he'd like to become a billionaire by combining his love of sports, politics and religion. I'm down with that. We're progressing quickly through guided comm. so we'll see what happens. I've already developed a slew of nicknames for when we're in love, including Crispin Cremes.
Also, to my dismay, posting my address on my eH profile did not result in any bouquets of roses coming my way. I promptly took it down anyway because I thought it might give any post-V-day suitors the wrong idea. I have a new match named CRISPIN. I was so ready to make fun of him and close him, but he seems kinda great. He's 6'4" with blue eyes and admits in his profile that he'd like to become a billionaire by combining his love of sports, politics and religion. I'm down with that. We're progressing quickly through guided comm. so we'll see what happens. I've already developed a slew of nicknames for when we're in love, including Crispin Cremes.
$ingle Lady #1...is being stood up?
How do $ingle Ladies celebrate Valentine's Day? One word - Sangria. Or three words, and add Burgers. MacNCheese.
Flashback to last week. I was in sunny Mexico with my parents and grandparents, enjoying the sun and being the darling of the trainers in the gym (yes, I took my cute workout clothes, and yes, I actually used them!) and the waiters by the pool. My mom, ever sensitive, told me I should go to one of those dolphin adventures where you sit in a tank while they swim around you and at the end, they take a photo of the dolphin "kissing" you and sell it to you for a ridiculous price. Her reason - because it would be the only mammal I'd kiss all week. Thanks Mom. 75% of the people at the resort were pushing 80. The other 25% were 30-something parents and their small children. Our last day a cutie in the range of 17 boldly smiled and said hello as I walked to lunch with my parents. My mom said he ran into a hedge when I smirked and waved back. In his defense, I had big sunglasses on so he couldn't see my crows feet.
Emboldened by my week of relaxation, I emailed Chris, lawyer to try to finally set up a date. He replied almost immediately and we set up lunch for today. He asked me what neighborhood was convenient, and on Friday, I replied anywhere midtown or south so I could head to the office afterwards. My assumption was that he would respond, probably yesterday, with a location and time. Nothing. Nada. Zilch. It's 11:10 and come on, I like spontaneity but truthfully I haven't even showered yet and he should know that it takes at least 30 minutes to get anywhere in Manhattan.
Now I'm That Girl, who's sitting on her computer watching Private Practice hitting refresh on my email (the modern day "sitting by the phone" waiting for him to call), hoping to get that elusive eHarmony email "You've received communication from..."
<3,
$ingle Lady #1
Flashback to last week. I was in sunny Mexico with my parents and grandparents, enjoying the sun and being the darling of the trainers in the gym (yes, I took my cute workout clothes, and yes, I actually used them!) and the waiters by the pool. My mom, ever sensitive, told me I should go to one of those dolphin adventures where you sit in a tank while they swim around you and at the end, they take a photo of the dolphin "kissing" you and sell it to you for a ridiculous price. Her reason - because it would be the only mammal I'd kiss all week. Thanks Mom. 75% of the people at the resort were pushing 80. The other 25% were 30-something parents and their small children. Our last day a cutie in the range of 17 boldly smiled and said hello as I walked to lunch with my parents. My mom said he ran into a hedge when I smirked and waved back. In his defense, I had big sunglasses on so he couldn't see my crows feet.
Emboldened by my week of relaxation, I emailed Chris, lawyer to try to finally set up a date. He replied almost immediately and we set up lunch for today. He asked me what neighborhood was convenient, and on Friday, I replied anywhere midtown or south so I could head to the office afterwards. My assumption was that he would respond, probably yesterday, with a location and time. Nothing. Nada. Zilch. It's 11:10 and come on, I like spontaneity but truthfully I haven't even showered yet and he should know that it takes at least 30 minutes to get anywhere in Manhattan.
Now I'm That Girl, who's sitting on her computer watching Private Practice hitting refresh on my email (the modern day "sitting by the phone" waiting for him to call), hoping to get that elusive eHarmony email "You've received communication from..."
<3,
$ingle Lady #1
$ingle Lady #5 - Getting Lazy
I am overwelmed with eH. There are less than 24 hours left in free communication weekend and I haven't found the man of my dreams. Here are some highlights from my search:
Tom 26 from Chicago- He is a CPA and is inspired by the 80's flick Teen Wolf. I'm in love. We've been communicating via eHarmz' questionnaires but neither of us have taken it to the next step.
Tom 35 from Niles- I closed this match due to our age difference; eharmz asks why you are closing this match... I usually choose "other" but this time I chose the age diff. This morning I received a message from Tom saying, "age isn't anthing but a number. good luck with your search." Shoot, I'm being too picky.
Michael 30 from Chicago- He is an attorney. Loves his dog- only lady in his life. He enjoys running. This one could have potential. He sounds ambitious and financially sound. I can deal with his love for dogs. I LOVE when people LOVE their dogs. and I enjoy running too...I sent my responses to his questions and have yet to hear his responses to mine. Fingers crossed.
In other news outside of the eHarmz realm, one of the (cute) external auditors I work with popped in my office, asked standard work question then asked about my weekend. I was hoping he would just end all of this, ask me to lunch, and I could avoid the whole eHarmony biz. But sigh, he was just killing time before his monday morning meeting with my boss. The whole time he spoke I couldn't help but wonder if he was on eH and noticed I was on it since my name isn't pretty traditional. I'm probably being paranoid.
So since work blocks eH, I can't keep up correspondence with my suitors. I'll have to do some mad eH'ing when I get home. In the meantime, I'll be deciding whether or not I will pay the money and add faces to names.
Hoping these boyz aren't WOOF,
SL5
Tom 26 from Chicago- He is a CPA and is inspired by the 80's flick Teen Wolf. I'm in love. We've been communicating via eHarmz' questionnaires but neither of us have taken it to the next step.
Tom 35 from Niles- I closed this match due to our age difference; eharmz asks why you are closing this match... I usually choose "other" but this time I chose the age diff. This morning I received a message from Tom saying, "age isn't anthing but a number. good luck with your search." Shoot, I'm being too picky.
Michael 30 from Chicago- He is an attorney. Loves his dog- only lady in his life. He enjoys running. This one could have potential. He sounds ambitious and financially sound. I can deal with his love for dogs. I LOVE when people LOVE their dogs. and I enjoy running too...I sent my responses to his questions and have yet to hear his responses to mine. Fingers crossed.
In other news outside of the eHarmz realm, one of the (cute) external auditors I work with popped in my office, asked standard work question then asked about my weekend. I was hoping he would just end all of this, ask me to lunch, and I could avoid the whole eHarmony biz. But sigh, he was just killing time before his monday morning meeting with my boss. The whole time he spoke I couldn't help but wonder if he was on eH and noticed I was on it since my name isn't pretty traditional. I'm probably being paranoid.
So since work blocks eH, I can't keep up correspondence with my suitors. I'll have to do some mad eH'ing when I get home. In the meantime, I'll be deciding whether or not I will pay the money and add faces to names.
Hoping these boyz aren't WOOF,
SL5
Sunday, February 14, 2010
$ingle lady #4 - No one said this was going to be easy
I have come to realize the harsh realities of participating in this free communication weekend for eH.
1. THIS IS REALLY HARD. there is always an influx of emails from "userservices" in my gmail inbox saying that Joe, Andrew, Matthew (the list goes on) is a new match for you! or communication received!
2. there is alot of pressure to keep up with all my new matches/communications since I have until tomorrow to decide if i want to pay to join. as the other $ingle ladies have mentioned, it is almost like a full time job. and especially since there is a deadline now.
I've also learned something about myself through this. I'm typically a person that doesn't really put myself out there trying to pick up guys. If it happens or if they make the first move then I'm usually good with that. But I don't engage in such behavior as trying to have my friends pawn me off on complete strangers at a bar (this happened last evening at the bar to my friend). But this whole process is only going to work if I do put myself out there. I'm keeping an open mind (in most cases) and answering questions and responding. I even got brave enough today to send my list of questions to 2 matches. I also received my first icebreaker yesterday? I mean I can't really be judgmental when I'm reading about these people on paper. I'm not saying I'm going to settle, but I also really can't be picky at this point either.
I also realized that my profile was very vague and probably disinteresting to my matches. I mean, I did have only a 37% completion rate on my profile. I logged some eH time this morning, as it is Valentine's Day. And nothing says a fulfilling V-day like internet dating and communication.
I have closed some of my matches due to age (33 is just too up there for me). I really enjoy the list of excuses I can use, and I've been honest with the 33 year olds, your age really IS an issue.
I got my first shut down yesterday, I have been closed by Joshua because is "pursuing another relationship." I mean, I didn't even view his profile? And my profile isn't anything offensive nor was I trying to pursue him. Whatev, hope that works out for you.
I got my first real gem of a match yesterday, Anthony. First strike, he lived too far into the reaches of the Boston suburbs for my taste. Second strike, occupation? truck driver. Third strike, age? 33. AND the kicker, already has 2 kids. GOODBYE. (Also, he only drinks a few times a year, which may interfere with my weekend nights out or mid-week drinking urges due to tax season).
Another pet peeve I have realized about some of my matches is that they purposely withhold information so you absolutely HAVE to communicate with them. "if you want to know more about me just ask!! :) :)" I should not feel like I have to be cajoled into communicating with you just to find out later that you are creepy and just didnt have the balls to post it to eHarm.
To conclude, your last (and most influential and life changing) book should never be "The Abs Diet."
I've progressed to sending my must haves/dislikes to several of the matches, so we will see what will come of those.
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