$L#6 hates traffic and blizzards and girlfriends

OK, I'll admit it. I was maybe sorta a little bit trying to trick karma by signing up for the dating Web site thingie.

My life follows a few rules:

1. If I buy something, it will immediately go on sale. [Also in this category: If I change lanes on the highway, the other will go faster; If I go one way to avoid traffic, the other route will spontaneously burst into flames or something; If I set my alarm really early to get up and be productive, I'll forget to turn it on.]
2. If I plan a trip somewhere fun, it will blizzard in departure location and get canceled. [Or, If I go to Miami, it will rain and be cloudy for the only five days of the year it is ever rainy and cloudy there.]
3. If I like you, you have a girlfriend.
4. If you like me, you have a girlfriend.
5. If I get invited to do something fun, there is a 100% chance that I will also get invited to do something else fun on that same day. And I won't be able to go. And I also won't have anything else on my calendar, at all, for the preceding and subsequent six months.

I was hoping to add my namesake's number 6 to this list: If I sign up for online dating, I will meet the man of my dreams in a bar and therefore have wasted my hard-earned money.

Well, no such luck in this first weekend; I succeeded only in again falling in love with someone who has a girlfriend. Shocker!

My eHarmz updates: I went on a closing spree and closed all the matches I knew I wouldn't be interested in and was too lazy to continue pleasantries with. Someone closed me and I was offended even though he had some dealbreakers in his profile because like, wtf? I am playing question game with a few people but still think eHarmony is holding out on some sweet matches for me that it is saving for a rainy day. I am being actively ignored by people that $L2 has already dated and I'm getting impatient.

Ever the optimist, there's still plenty of time,
$L6