$ingle lady #2: A guide to gflirting

Gflirting, is of course, the ancient (read: since 2k7) art of gchat flirting. Once you have secured your new crush (cookie crisp) as a gchat contact, let the gamez begin! I contend that I do some of my best work via gchat. There are many things to consider. I find it acceptable to open the lines of communication one time, if necessary. From there you are not to gchat your crush again until he gchats you.

The next step is the gchatus (gchat status) bait. Many gchatuses may serve as bait for your crush to chat you. Some examples include a chachy conversation between you and one of your funniest friends to get him to think:"gee I wish $L#2 and I were having hilarious gconvos..." Another option would be a humorous link to a Web site or youtube video, to elicit a "where did you find that?" or "haha" chat. Another option might be, a personal favorite of mine, a quote from your favorite movie - perhaps Home Alone. This will leave your crush racking his brain to identify the quote, at which point he may even IMDB the line to try to impress you with his movie knowledge.

The last option is an actual status about what you are doing, but just mysterious enough to serve as bait. Now, DO NOT make the mistake of being obvious. DO NOT use statuses such as "OMG so excited!!!" or "wah don't feel well :(" These baits are fooling no one. A good bait might be "taking a p-less nap," which of course refers to a pantless nap, made popular in 2k4 when you, after a long day of class, returned to your dorm to immediately take off your pants, crawl into bed with a bag of Tostitos Scoops, and fall asleep watching Blow starring Johnny Depp. However your crush does not know that the pantless nap is the epitome of laziness, and will instead chat you "what is a p-less nap?" And you will say "pantless, duh" and he will be left thinking of your lacy underwear, rather than you waking up with drool on your face and the entire bag of chips hoovered.

The final guideline is to stay away from gchat when drunk; it is to serve as sober communication only. Gchat will lose its magic if it simply becomes a variation of the drunk dial or text. Gflirting is best conducted while at work. If you have a job that does not allow gchat...you're probably out of luck and will die a lonely cat lady, unless you are some sort of 'adult' who uses the 'telephone' or flirts with people 'in person.' Lame.

Good luck!
$ingle lady #2