Sunday, January 10, 2010

$ingle lady #2: Pet peevz

I just read $L1's post and I've been having the same thought: these dudes are alllll the same. Here are some of my biggest eHarmz "pet peeves" so far:

1. One of your three "best life skills" (eH provides a list from which to choose) is "Creating romance in a relationship." COME ONNN. Of all the things you've conquered in life, excelled at, shown promise...I dunno maybe teaching underprivileged children to read, problem-solving, Sodoku, paint-by-numbers, balancing your checkbook, cooking, table tennis...I'd take anything else. But I am extremely skeptical if you consider your #1 LIFE SKILL to be sprinkling rose petals on the bed, lighting candles and treating me to a relaxing bubble bath - because I DO NOT BELIEVE YOU.

2. The backdrops of your pictures are Rome, Prague and Hong Kong. It's cool - I get it. You've traveled, studied abroad even! And they are beautiful scenes. I don't really know why this bothers me so much. It just doesn't really tell me anything about you because I can't tell a) if your apartment is spotless/disgusting and b) if you generally roll with the Mathletes or a gaggle of hot girls...things I really want to analyze. Also it makes it harder for me to spot your receding hairline when you are a tiny figurine on top of a mountain.

3. You list your ex-girlfriend as the "most influential person in your life." Holy Hell, that's just asking for trouble.

4. You are 6 feet tall, and you are never ever ever 5'11." Upwards of 40 men, ranging from 5'5" (yipes!) to 6'4," and not one person is 5'11." I am certain this is because you are all rounding up.

5. The caption on your picture reads: "My sister and I." No...n-n-n-n-no (said like Sammi Sweetheart, waving my hand in the air). You wouldn't say "This is a picture of I." It is a picture of ME, so it is a picture of my sister and ME.

Update: Still waiting to hear back from Slampiece after what I considered to be an artfully crafted, flirty yet not too forward, response to his message; got a funny message from Steve (aka sports sports sports); received 30 emails full of WOOF-worthy new matches.

Go Jets!
$L#2

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