I feel for the new Bachelor, Jake. First, he has an entire batch of crazy women to deal with. That will stay with the poor kid all season. I can already tell that the producers are paying him on the side to keep Michele around. She is off. her. rocker. More importantly though, I would love to see the outtakes of the first episode to see how many mistakes he makes. As always, Jake stands in a grove as limo after limo of predominantly "models" step out in gowns, give him a hug, maybe do a kitchy gimmick, then prance into the house for the cocktail party. Each woman vies for one-on-one time so he "knows" them before he makes his first cut - with nearly 40% of them on the chopping block. How does he keep them straight? He's met them for mayyyybe 4 hours, with mayyyybe 5 minutes with each, and is expected to find the 60% of them who could potentially be his future wife.
I guess the point of that diatribe is a public apology to Neal. I was showing off my "collection" to some coworkers and discovered it wasn't him who was the apparent sex addict. In fact, I have absolutely no idea who it is (side effect of being an internet slut, I guess). He can now officially sue me for libel.
In my defense, there are only 5-6 questions in the initial About Me questionnaire, so they're bound to run together. Everyone is most thankful for family, friends and usually their career. Who really cares what book they just read (unless of course, you're one of the now two admirers who just read The Blind Side. see previous posts)? Everyone has a variation of the line: "if I told you, they wouldn't be the only ones to know" in response to the question "What do only Name's best friends know about him?" How is a girl supposed to keep them all straight?!
In an effort to avoid the Neal Situation again, I've started cutting more ruthlessly. Anyone under 24, or over 30 is out (parameters that are now a new official match requirement). Anyone from a town in NJ that I've never heard of...basically anywhere but Hoboken...is out. Like $L#2 I use a loose interpretation of "the physical distance between us is too great" as a Closing reason to imply both geographical distance, as well as to weed out anyone under 5'9". At least eHarmony seems to have learned that I won't travel for love, as they're back to suggesting primarily NYC-area prospects for me. I am now exchanging surveys, values and messages with only 18 men. Well, probably 17, as Wesley is about to drop me for being a bad communicator.
After a brief hiatus, during which I had a panic attack for how creepy this ritual is, I'm back in black-and off to answer some free-form essays.
'til next time...xo,
$ingle Lady #1
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I don't know if you cover this in an earlier post, but are you also only looking for caucasians?
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