$ingle Lady #1: It's official!

Ok. I did it. $120 later and I'm an official subscriber to eHarmony.com. Basic subscription (let's not get too crazy) so I can view photos and send communication at will. A simple $10 upgrade would have gotten me some kind of through-the-internet "immediate" phone call. I dare to dream. I'd like to thank my Nana for the funds, who very nicely invited me once to Singles Night at her Presbyterian church (read: in Baltimore, hundreds of miles away) in I think, an effort to marry me off. Maybe I'll put it in the Christmas check thank you note?

I judge books by covers. Wandering through Barnes and Noble I'll never fail to pick up the book that is medium sized, paperback, and has a pink cover. It usually means that it'll be about shopping, or fashion, or a really great trashy romance novel. It's reason #1 I opted out of the About Me question "last great book you read and why" (although, one of my matches...can't exactly keep them straight...just finished The Blind Side which is my all-time favorite movie EVER). I do read meaningful books, usually when someone in book club suggests them, but typically I treat my reading like I treat my preferred TV. Vapid and shallow.

So I was like a kid on Christmas morning when FINALLY, eHarmony unlocked that teasing photo option and opened the floodgates for 15 minutes of rapid fire browsing. I was sorely disappointed. Neal has potential (but is also addicted to sex...bummer), but for the most part, I see why these guys are internet dating. They're the Radio DJ to a bar prospect's TV personality. You gasp in horror at my honesty (is it out loud if it's typed? If a tree falls in the forest...?) You accuse me of being mean and shallow. You throw at me that I thought they had great potential when I saw their personality before their face. How important is physical attraction?

Ryan, 28, New York, United States, picked me up on eHarmony the way a guy picks up a girl in a bar. He skipped all the preliminaries and sent me an ice-breaker: "Great pic, Would love to see more photos!" Photos is blue and underlined, and takes me straight to his 4 glamour shots. In one of them, he's hoisting 2 girls in the air at once. He's eh, but I'm realistic enough to know how I feel about this process to be flattered that he thinks I'm hot (in my totally undoctored, non-Googled imaged face shot. I swear). Plus, based on the two-girl-lift photo I'm pretty sure he's actually Ronnie from Jersey Shore and am willing to throw that one a bone.

Given that I've got 90 days (180 if I forget to turn off the "auto renew" button), I'm going to slow it down a little. These stages of communication are fun enough, but at some point (as my mom so quickly pointed out to me) these guys are looking for a real relationship. Her actual suggestion was for me to go back and re-watch How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days. Please, I can quote every line in that movie. BTW Mom, totally lovin that I'm being equated to Kate Hudson! But, as usual as my Official Moral Compass, she's right.

Don't worry - this doesn't mean the blog posts will stop!

xo,
$ingle Lady #1