I am officially an internet dating slut. $ingle Ladies 2&3 are judicious about their Guided Communication. They pore over profiles looking both for common personality threads and interests, and also for hints of "i'm a murder/rapist." This one isn't funny enough. This one still lives at home. This one has a name that brings back horrific Wal-Mart-experience memories. They evaluate these profiles the way we evaluate potential mates in the real world.
I, on the other hand, am Guided Communicating with the wild abandon of the token Sheltered Childhood girl on the Real World. I'm currently in a various communication stage with 17 men (strumpet!). I'm sending my Cosmo quiz to almost everyone, with the exception so far of only 1 guy, Alex, 23, from Staten Island, United States. Normally I'd make a joke here about not dating people from SI, but ever since my new life goal of being a cast member on Jersey Shore has emerged, I'm reconsidering. However, he lists himself at 5'9", which is really 5'6" when you apply the internet-profile-inflation factor, and what he's looking for in a partner is "awesomeness, someone that makes me go wow." How articulate. I left him in limbo for a day until I discovered that in fact, Alex had dismissed me! On Facebook, if you decline someone's offer of friendship, it just melts passive-aggressively into oblivion with no one the wiser. On eHarmony, you not only get notified in an aggressive large orange box on your "home" page, that your potential match has been closed, you get an email, and the match has the option to TELL you why he closed communication forever. Ouch. In fairness, there is also a rebuttal period, where I could send a message back to him, since eHarmony "believes it's important to give both sides of a match the opportunity to send a message during the close process." This offer, I declined.
Free Communication "weekend" has been extended until tomorrow. More to come...
xo,
$ingle Lady #1
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